What happens when a food addict can no longer abuse food?

Hi there,
I'm still a couple months pre-op, and my husband is giving me a hard time about the surgery. I know he's scared and the closer it gets, there more "What Ifs" he comes up with.
His latest is ... if I can't abuse food, what will I turn to? Will I become a drug addict? an alcoholic? a shopaholic?
Right now, I am none of these things and really can't see me becoming one. He is certain I will "change" post-op.
How valid are his fears? Will I really change that much? I've always just been me.
Will I "use" something else other then food?
I feel pretty stable.
If his fears are unfounded, do you have any advice for me on how to deal with my husband's fears?
Thanks

You raise a good question.  I believe that the problem was never the food, or alcohol in my case, but my thinking, and my brain chemistry.  With the help of my therapist, and a 12 step program, along with some medications from my psychiatrist, I have been able to make a lot of positive changes, with some temporary relapses, and not abuse the food.  I have also had long periods without alcohol, or shopping, or sex, or any other addictive behavior. 

Theory is that an addict will abuse something to deal with negative affect and get that "high" that comes with the addictive behavior or agent.  Unless a change takes place in the person's thinking, and the person learns to deal with negative affect in a healthy way, most addicts find a new "drug" to abuse, or behavior to take up to fill that void and reach that "high." 

I believe I was blessed to learn 18 years before my surgery that I was cross-addicted to food, alcohol, shopping and sex.  I went into the surgery knowing that I was at risk for relapsing with my alcohol, shopping and sex behaviors.  But, I have been in psychotherapy for almost 20 years, and have been in AA for almost that long. 

If you believe you are a food addict, you may wish to address this by participating in Overeaters Anonymous.  I used to be active in OA, and intend to go back someday after I have some quality sobriety in AA under my belt since my relapse.  Overeaters Anonymous is a 12 Step program patterned after AA, and it addresses compulsive eating behaviors.  The only requirement for membership in OA is the desire to stop overeating.  There are no dues or fees for membership, they are self-supporting through contributions from members. 

You can check them out at www.oa.org

Good luck.
Trish

Honestly I'm glad that your husband has those fears, that way he can make you aware if they start happening.  I am 3.5 years out, I was told it was a possibility but I shrugged it off, because I was just a social drinker, so why would I become and addict, but i was an addict of food, i just didn't know it, because i only ate 1800 calories, so it would seem i was pretty normal, but now im lucky if i make myself eat 600. 

I was not armed with the knowledge of what I was doing (transferring), now my life is a mess, my husband left, and i am struggling to get him back.  We both didn't know.  I thought I just became an alcoholic, I did, but because it was easy, doesn't mean that i wasn't predispositioned to be an alcoholic, but it did bring it on, and fast.  But after your surgery, you will find that getting drunk is really easy.  If you are over eating to release dopamine, there is a chance you could become an addict of something else because your brain will crave a bump in dopamine, but with that knowledge maybe you can be aware and stop it before it happens or if it happens Imagine drinking 3 beers and you are wasted, with no negative consequences, no hang over, not much money spent, numb your emotions, and having fun. Now that you are a size 12 or smaller, just got a new outfit and you are ready to get out and have some fun and show it off, who wouldn't want to get giddy  uped with a substance?  Mine was alcohol of course but you could relate it to anything. I am no way saying that this will or has to happen to you, but be aware that it can, i wasn't aware, i knew, but i didn't REALLY know.  Now that I am an alcoholic, knowledge has helped me quit, I am 50 days sober, so arm your self with the knowledge, and you can avoid it if it happens 

I also lost my entire appetite after surgery and it never came back, those that i have talked with addiction, most can relate, since i had no appetite for food, i turned to an appetite to drink, its hard pre-opp to imagine not having interest in food, but with me it disappeared, and never came back, i missed craving something, used to be McDonald's fries, now its bud light.

Just be aware, and it can help, im glad your husband is nervous, it will probably help.

BUT.... I would never regret the surgery, even with becoming an alcoholic, i am no longer diabetic, i can run upstairs, and now i have a baby (was infertile from weight) good luck, don't let it discourage you, not by ANY means, just be aware, thats all it would have taken for me anyway, hope this helps!

Hi Darlene! Nice to see your post!!  I've been sober for 21 yrs now. It's VERY easy to transfer addictions w/out ever realizing it right away.  What I did that worked for ME was to start therapy BEFORE surgery. I knew the things that made me overeat weren't going away because my stomach got smaller. A very good friend familiar with addictions told me REMEMBER: you had surgery on your stomach NOT your brain! ... He was so right about that!  The triggers dont' disappear with our waistlines. Rainsunbow is right...it's much easier to get drunk (fast, easy and cheap) post-op. Alcohol hits you in a flash, but I wasn't about to give up my sobriety.  Shopping is my problem. NOT for clothes so much, but I know I do it to make me feel better. To celebrate a friends good fortune, or because the blasted sun came up that day!...or cuz it rained.

Its important to realize you're volunteering to change your body, along with how you look and feel. It brings up a huge roller coasterr of emotions adn THOSE should be dealt with, pre and post op. Think about talking to a counsellor. Start now if you can to be mentally prepared for the changes to come! :)

Hugs,
Marie

The only question I can answer with certainty is "will I really change that much?"  YES - yes you will.  You are going to change in ways you could have never imagined or anticipated.  That is not a bad thing in my opinion, just a fact.

For me, I changed in just such a fashion.  My surgery was the beginning of a journey towards knowing myself for who I really am - without the insulation, and eventually without the addictive substance.  I didn't really consider myself a food addict.  I assumed I'd just gotten older, lacked willpower and ate too much.  I'd damaged my metabolism with crash diets to the point it was nearly impossible to lose weight on my own anymore.

After surgery, many things changed.  First and foremost, was the big huge "WHOA - I'm absolutely miserable now that food does not appeal to me."  I went into a stage of mourning.  I still to this day actually get angry at food sometimes because if it's something I think is going to emotionally soothe me, odds are it will just upset my pouch or give me a dull flat feeling of no satisfaction.  I think this is how it is SUPPOSED to be, but apparently I was more of a food addict than I realized.

The second thing to change was me coming out of my shell.  I began to learn that all that fat was a bit of an emotional insulator.  After some time in therapy, I've begun to understand just WHY I was insulating but right after surgery, I became like a butterfly emerging onto the scene.  BUT - even though I loved the way I looked, something still wasn't quite right.  While I'd been but a social drinker prior to surgery, I like others discovered that I could get quite a buzz off one drink.  I also realized that this really got me over that social anxiety I'd felt all my life (even at a smaller size) and loosened me up. 

I went out a lot and was "enjoying life" for the first time in my adult life.  It was great at first, until all my activities began to revolve around those few drinks.  Then those few became too many, and with my new plumbing, every single time I drank - it was over my tolerance level.  Dependence kicked in.  Then I became alcoholic in the way I drink.  There were blackouts, embarassing episodes, lots of vomiting and eventually a horrible accident and DUI.  I sought the help of the AA program and it saved my life.

Today - with the help of AA and my therapist, I am beginning to see WHY I was so vulnerable to what happened to me.  Nobody could have told me that when I began my surgery journey however - I just didn't know what I didn't know.

Now I don't share this with you to frighten you - I have to alcoholic parents, and was at risk out of the box.  But yes, you WILL change.  I love who I am today.  I have begun to accept her and demand her proper respect.  But that's been a slow change.  I don't think having that therapy BEFORE the surgery could have done it.  I had to experience what I've experienced to gain the little bit of enlightenment I've gained.  I would do the surgery over in a heartbeat - I still believe it was the best thing I've ever done for myself.

I just recommend remaining uber aware, and maybe even working with a therapist during the fisrt year after surgery.  You are going to discover issues that will surprise you.

Hugs and best of luck on your journey!!
Michelle

I had my surgery almost 5 months ago and I am still addicted to food..........I think more now than  before. Now I just eat a smaller amount but still want to eat all them time. So the surgery is not the answer to food addiction....Just my thoughts.