help with anxiety

Hi everyone. I had RNY nov 29th 2006 and have lost 125lbs. I am what you would call a job hopper. I get a job I panic and I quit. I'm 29 years old and this is what has been going on. I've struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. After surgery it only got worse. In June my only Uncle died of liver failure as a complication from cancer when I went to visit him in the hospital. His skin was bright yellow and it truly frightened me. 2 days later my mother in law's apartment building burned to the ground. I've been extremely stressed out and my anxiety has been sky high. I just quit a job after two weeks because I was getting such high anxiety about going in. So today I've been feeling like crap about myself. I do see a counselor that basically tells me I need to keep a job. I know this but I need to get this anxiety in check. Has anyone else gone through anything like this? I feel like anxiety is ruling my life...

I have had experiences with anxiety.  You have been through a lot of highly stressful situations, which would definitely exacerbate anxiety that already exists.  Does your counselor offer you suggestions for dealing with your anxiety, like teaching relaxation techniques?  If not, ask him/her to do that for you.  There are a lot of self-relaxation exercises that a therapist can teach a client, such as diaphragmatic deep breathing, to help a client get control of anxiety and learn relaxation. Do you have other coping mechanisms?  Do you have support people in your life that you can talk to who can help you get through stressful times, such as when you are having trouble getting to work?  I would suggest you find a friend who can be there to cheer you on about getting to work, and hold you accountable to get there.   You may also ask your counselor for a referral to a psychiatrist for an evaluation for medications.  There are some good anti-anxiety meds that can help take the edge off the anxiety and help you cope and work through some of the stressors that have occurred, and deal with the anxiety and put some of it in perspective. Dealing with the death of a loved one is always a painful and stressful time.  I recently lost a brother, so I empathize with that.  Having a loved one's home destroyed in a fire is also a stressful situation that can trigger a lot of anxiety.  The two combined would definitely rule a person's life if they are not adequately prepared to deal with it. I also want to encourage you to tap into your spiritual life.  If you participate in a church or synagogue, seek the guidance of your pastor or rabbi or a leader there.  A relationship with God gives a lot of people emotional peace.   Hang in there. Hugs, Trish

I have found that hyperfocusing on things- such as the job - the job - the job- can get out of control very easily and it is like a cyclical issue that never ends- you get anxious becuase you know you need a job andf then get anxious about getting a job and then about having thr job and then you are back to square one about needing another job.  I agree with the other post-  you should get a psych eval for meds or try holistic medicines if you are not a med taker. Te best thing that has alwasy helped me has been cardio kickboxing.  It may sound strange but if you can focus on the thing that is giving you problems-  such ad your boss, coworker, anxiety, depression, anger, or whatever and visualize that and beat the hell out of it-  you would be amazed at the sense of relief that y will get and it almost seems like a non-issue.  I have struggled with anxiety and depression most of my life and I can certainly tell when I have not done my exercises.  Even walking to clear your head-  just work on putting the focus on beating it and not it beating you.  I know easier said than done but just letting you know what has worked for me.  Been on meds twice for anxiety and depression and did not care for that way so it was either stay on top of it by exercise or take the meds.  Good luck and take care of yourself  Andrea(33yr old)

I agree with Andrea that exercise is a great way to deal with anxiety and help relieve stress from the body.

Girl I know exactly what you mean! I'm battling anxiety and depression and it's nothing fun. I do the job hopping thing, too! I prayed about it and eventually found a job that doesn't allow me to stare people in the face all the time. I've done a lot better since I've been working this job. I'm hoping surgery does something for my anxiety. I have plans to go back to school and I don't want to take internet classes! We should keep in touch drgnfly. If you find something that helps let me know. I'll be here for you as well. BG Oh! I almost forgot. I take Buspirone..it definitely helps!!