Baked (and ate) ... :(

Well, I hit an anxiety speed bump this weekend and instead of bringing it to G-d at temple, I stayed away....I baked...then I ate...Mind you, the coffee cake came out great, but it was soooo loaded with fat n sugar. Not smart....not at all. By the 2nd piece I had bad EVIL cramps...and even though I ate the 2nd six hours after the 1st, it still hurt like hell. (got what I deserved). I gave the rest to my neighbors. I relapsed with this. I no longer desire a drink, or to drin****il oblivion, but when nervous, I bake. I need to do the stained glass I started collecting in my basement, or reading or beading or ANYTHING but bake and sample!! I'd just changed my insulin catheter the day before too. NOrmally that stash lasts FIVE days. This lasted ONLY THREE. I am so bleepin pissed at myself for giving into the self-imposed pressure. I made things so much worse than they had to be. I should have gotten dressed and gone to temple. Instead, I fed my demons. Now I need to forgive myself and learn from this one. My weight hit the skids, my drive for cardio and lifting is all but gone and my job is going to India faster than I can blink. Right now I start paying more attention to my stress levels. Time to let go and let G-d.   Thanks for listening! Marie

Yes - forgive yourself.

 YOU are a miracle!  

Progress - not perfection.

Now, I'm going to try and take my own advice LOL.

Love ya girl - hang in there!

Michelle

Thank you Michelle.  Sometimes (most times) I forget I've traded drinking for eating. Now with the surgery, I get reminded a LOT quicker that I've slipped, and I hope that feeling doesn't get easier any time soon!  :) Hugs, Marie

Hey there, It's a ONE day at a time program, or ONE minute at a time program.  Forgive yourself, and make yourself a list of things to do instead of baking and eating.  I am taking my own advice with this myself.  I have a ton of yarn, and have three projects that I am working on.  I also have a mess of an apartment to clean right now, so I always have something to do sober.   Time to make a list of things to do, put it on your fridge and then hit it when the anxiety hits.  I call it my coping card.  Put soothing, gentle stuff on there too, like bubble bath, soft music, all that sort of stuff. Huggles, Trish

That list is a great idea, Trish! I tend to forget I've so many other things that "should" be filling my time. Tonight I'm stuffing pictures into frames and watching the Sox till my soap comes on! LOL... Time for me to make a coping card of my own!! :) Thanks, Marie

While the baking situation may not be the best it sure beats using!

Yeah, I agree...This slip was still costly health wise. Still, sobriety is the COOLEST frame of mind there is for me!! :) Marie