Cross addiction - my story

Hi everyone,    I had a Roux-en-Y in Nov. 2001. I had it because I was repeatedly told that losing weight would help with my chronic back pain (it did not). Within a year I lost 93 lbs. At around nine months I started drinking a little at parties. I continued to maintain my weight loss and after two years my friend Carol decided to have hers done. Six months after her weight loss surgery she had a full hysterctomy. At about 11 months Carol also started drinking at parties with me. What I didn't realize was that after her first drink Carol started drinking daily. Also during this time my back pain continued to escalate and I used 4 10mg Lortab daily. The pain clinic put me through multiple procedures to try to reduce my pain, and none of them worked. During this time my tolerance to Lortab increased and they were becoming less effective for me. the pain clinic would not increase my dosage so I started doctor shopping and eventually started ordering from the internet (I had plenty of records). By Jan. 2006 I was using 5-6 prescriptions monthly (120 pills per scipt pf 10mg Lortab). Around this time Carol told my husband what I was doing. The funny -not - thing was that by this time she was drinking a large bottle of Vodka everyday. During June 2005 to June 2006 Carol was in rehab 4 times and the hospital 3 times. So between Dec. 2003 and June 2006, Carol drank herself  to  DEATH. It took less than two years.  On march 30, 2006 I had back surgery, and 3 days after her funeral in June I entered Ridgeview Institute, still in a back brace, to detox form pain meds.  Because I still had a lot of back pain, I was allowed to stay on suboxome for another 4 months. But since I was pushed into rehab, I was not ready to really quit, so I temporarily switched to alcohol, even after what happened to Carol. Now for some reason when I drink, and even today still, I blackout, but I don't passout. I was really lucky that I didn't hurt anyone and was eventually able to quit. But my bad luck continued. Starting in august 2006, I started to develop frozen shoulder syndrome in my left shoulder. I believe that during my back surgery they somehow hurt my arm. Anyways in Jan. 2007 I had surgery, and had to use Lortab for 6 weeks, and then switched to suboxome. I finally became really depressed. During 2007, my husband kept accusing of using but would not take a drug test as proof. Finally in July he asked me for a drug test, which I took and it was negative. But instead of say congrats my daughter and him made comments that I'm still on other meds. These were meds for depression, anxiety, and sleeping. I became so upset at their attitude that I bought a bottle a wine. I though it wouldn't be as strong as liquor, but 2 glasses caused me to blackout. So my husband sent me to Laural wood to detox, from a bottle of wine. They kept me two days, changing my meds and sending me home. My husband actually said "They can't fix you in two days".  Now the cycle was started again. I had some more wine, he took my back to Laurel Wood, they kept me for three days and wanted to send me home. While there I found a brochure for a group home. I did not want to go home and deal with the attitude so I choose to go to the house for a few months.  I hoped that they would see how they were treating me. While there the oldest of my five younger brothers, Terry had a stroke. For ten weeks he had what is called 'Locked in syndrome". He was totally paralyzed and could only blink his eye yes or no. When I went to the home I had started back to college studying Psychology. I took a week off to go help my mother with Terry.  When I came back, my husband, before we even left the airport asked me to do a drug test. He though I "sounded funny" again. 2 years of this was why I was so depressed. Anyways I did the test, it was negative (I had not even taking my regular meds). I learned afterward that one of my meds would have tested me positive for amphetamines (Provigil).  I think that this was when my husband finally realized how he was stressing me by constantly accusing me. I also learned that I had went through menopause and didn't even know it. I am now post-menopausal. When Terry died after 10 weeks, I decided to move home. It had been 3 months and I think my family realized that they had to quit judging me, constantly. So far things are going fairly good, Schools great, and I'm not letting them drive me to drink. So they are not accusing me, much.  The biggest thing I would stress to someone considering this surgery is to remember that if you suffer from chronic pain that will not go away with the weight loss, seriously consider the consequences. There are so many medications you will not be able to take the it will be hard to get pain relief. And the possiblity of cross addiction is a possibly to be considered.  Cross addiction is a reality!

Thank you so much for your story.  I too have an addiction to wine much fiercer than before surgery.  Your story has truly given me a wake up call!  I also admire you for your struggles.  I am blessed not to be the one being judged, but find myself judging my husband (who also drinks).  Again, your story has allowed me to change my thinking and try to be more understanding.  Keep your chin up, I know you will make it!  Take care! JG

Thank YOU for your story.. I pray that you find the strength TODAY to get thru without using.   And I pray that Carol is at peace..  but for the grace of God.. there goes I.

Thank you for your replies. Even with all my problems I would still mostly recommend bypass surgery, after learning the drawbacks as well as the benefits.  Monica

Thank you so much for sharing your story.  You are helping me to stay sober today.  I have to keep reminding myself that I have a disease that wants to KILL me - that's no joke. Cross addiction is no laughing matter either.  Sometimes I think WLS is just like putting a band-aid on cancer.  There is so much in my muddled head that it's all a big chicken/egg thing. I'm glad to hear you're doing better! Love and light, m

I am sorry to hear about your struggles.  There definately is that desire to transfer to another addiction.  I too love to drink too much wine and am trying to quit..  Drinking wine after surgery is sooo different than before surgery.  The affects are so much quicker, but it leaves quicker also.  I am so sorry to hear about your friend.  Did she die from liver failure or somthing similar.  Was she warned by her doctors? It is so sad that we have this surgery for a better life and for many people that doesn't happen. I hope you will succeed in your journey! Jan

Carol died from multiple organ failure. She abused her body so badly that everything just quit.  All her friends and family tried to help her.  Even before the surgery Carol always worried about what everyone else though. She tried to hard to 'keep up with the Jones". I could never get her to believe that she was great as she was. But her childhood had a great effect on her. Also, we had both married Persian men, but they were the extreme of each other. Her husband could not make her happy. She didn't understand that she had to make herself happy, inside. Having a beautiful home, great kids, etc. are good but don't fulfill you emotionally.  She actually ended up divorcing her husband and leaving her boys with him. She thought she would be happier living the life she wanted without compromising with her husband all the time. But within weeks she basically shut herself up in her apartment and just drank. She could no longer handle life. Everyone, Me, My husband, her ex-husband (he really showed me how much he really loved her during this time), and her children just could not reach her. I will always wonder if I had not been in so much pain, and so deep in my own addiction, if I could have been able to help her more. I also really believe that her hsyterectomy had played a big part in her addiction. Almost immediately after having it, she lost control of her emotions. She would not stay on any medication long enough for it to work, and give it a chance to even out her hormones. I thank all of you for your interest. It helps to talk about it. I have missed her so much it hurts too much at times.          Monica

it does our heart good to hear you talk about her keep her memory alive.. and maybe her story will help others also..

Thank you for sharing both your story and your friend's.  I am Trish, alcoholic, chronic relapser.  Your sharing helped snap me out of my relapse.  I do not want my children, or grandchild telling people that I drank myself to death.  Thank you for scaring the s*** out of me this weekend.  I have been sober since Sunday.  I will get my A** to a meeting tonight. Hugs, Trish

Love you girl - hang in there! xoxoxoox