Grateful Post..

Happy Hump Day.. Today is one of those days that I am really struggling to find something to be grateful for..  I know that this isn't talked about much, in our circle, but I feel like I am in  a huge hole and there is no escape.. How do you all deal with depression?  I don't want to get on medication because I have a very addictive personality.. So any suggestions? Today I am grateful.. For tears that cleanse the soul..  For hurt and pain.. It makes the special days feel better..  For songs that remind you of special people..  For the time I had with my grandparents and my brother.. Damn, I miss them.. For the good man above allowing me to see one more day.. Maybe I can do some good today and balance out the bad in my life..  That I know that I must appreciate what I am given on a daily basis.. I am a blessed man but yet my thoughts always go back to poor pitiful me.. I guess I should take a lesson from myself and start dealing with the man in the mirror..

today I am grateful for  your post Ramon.. and reaching out ..  ""I am responsible. When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there. And for that: I am responsible." this is just MO.. the self pity is just a character flaw of our addiction.  Depression can be caused by many things... and should be treated.  Perhaps there is even a medical reason for it now.. I would see/talk to an MD to rule that out.   If you have tried various self help methods of controlling the depression with no or little success.. ie: meditation..  daily readings.. praying.. grateful posts.. and there is not medical reason for the depression, then I would see a counselor Ramon.  If you are not already.. let him/her know of your addictions.. and that you want to try and work out the problem of the depression and not self medicate it.  I'm sure they have ways of working around people like us with our addictive personalities. Also I read somewhere once if you are lacking and wanting something.. to give it out and it will come back.  If you are feeling sad.. perhaps by intentionally making others happy.. it will help YOU.  I'll add you to my prayers..  and I'm grateful for God..  and I'm grateful for my surgeon's office.. and University Hospital.. I'm going to participate in a medical study Endocrinologist Dept  that is researching low blood sugar in WLS patients.  I want to help those WLS patients after me..

Hey Ramon, My first time visiting this particular forum and I'm a day late in replying...but I clicked a few links and viewed some video and for amny it would be hard to beleive someone who speaks and helps so many others would struggle with depression. Can I ask if you have some goals that you are afraid of pursuing? For me personally, that's been the source of some depression through the years....letting others suppress me, being afraid to disappoint someone if I TRY to reach a goal and fall short, so I just didn't go for it at all....well, 4 yrs post-op and 115 pounds later...I'm going to go back to college!!! That's been a major disappointment in my life, that I never finshed my degree and worse yet, never knew WHAT exactly that I even wanted to do....so undecided through the years, so unhappy, so overweight, so all about everyone else in my life except ME. There are folks in my life who would argue this point but I'm convinced it is so. Last Decemeber I began seeing a counselor for the first time ever. This process has opened my eyes to realities in my life that I already saw but had uncertainty about . Speaking with a professional was just what I needed. I've been very active in support groups, actually helping to start 2 new ones on my area and finally realized that I needed MORE than that support. Like you, I never have wanted to rely on meds to help me through the low spots....looking back on my life I know I would have benefitted from meds at times. I just always chose to battle it myself, with FOOD, shopping, and building my walls around me. My encouragement to you is that you figure out what it is in your life that you want to change.  Start taking baby steps to change it or when ready, jump in with both feet like I have and GO FOR IT!!! I've enrolled in college FT this fall and have decided not to work as I complete my BS in Psychology and go on to the Graduate school of Counseling. You like to help others...have you thought about a path like this? I plan to focus on bariatric pateints and relationship issues. Lord knows we all go through SOOOOOO many personal changes after WLS that is is more overwhelming than we could have EVER anticipated.  I'm "about" your age and am a bit nervous about being the old lady in my college classes but my counselor went back to school at my age to get her degree and after meeting weekly for 6 months, she's positive I'll be a success......I've just made up my mind and I will nto be stopped. That's all there is to it!!!  You've got an amazing story Ramon (although just seen a snipit of it) and "the rest is still unwritten" as the song goes! SO GET OUT THERE AND WRITE IT!!!!!!!!! I'm glad to see today is a better day for you!!!!!!!!!