Sigh...

My job (and those of most of the ppl I work with) will be going to India soon. Just not sure HOW soon. I screwed up my damn checkbook and am not sure if a few bigger checks will bounce. At least my mortgage won't, thank G-d, but still, I HATE bouncing checks! I shopped this morning (I'm losing still and nothing fits even if it IS the good way for a change) and bought a lot of stuff from QVC.  I canceled it all today. Got a few books (on sale) and some Jewish music cd's (on sale) last week and after cancelling the clothes today I realized that my shopping is NOT stopping. I'm trying to work the steps on this but it's as if it's not that important because so far, it's not life threatening. I'm worried that IF my job ends soon, I can't dump a fortune on my cards. One I'm really good about just paying down and not using, but the other I use like a lifeline for some reason. I am not sure if I need to hit a meeting, the lottery or pull out my 12 steps book yet again....but something has to give. I have to stop this charging crap and start living within my means. (which lately, are feeling pretty damn mean) Marie

Morning Marie!

Classic switching of addictions there. Pull out your 12 step book. I love my 12 step book. Go to a meeting. Go to a Shopaholics meeting.

Off topic- I find it interesting that my best friend ordered a 12 step book after she looked and read through mine. The interesting part, She's not in AA or NA. She's in OA. She's addicted to food. I'm supporting her anyway I can, however the recent 50 pound weight gain she did over the past 10 months has me a little nervous, seeing as she was already overweight in the first place. I'm hoping the 12 step book helps her, as it helped me..as it will help you too.

Cut up the credit cards, and you are the only one who can get control over this.



Liz

Morning Liz!! Thanks for the reply. It's odd, but I can tell my sister to cut up her cards and tell her to stop and ask herself "why am I buying this" and "do I NEED it" before a purchase. I haven't been doing this for myself. I KNOW the trigger is the job stress. My job has just changed again. Now they want the same high output while they double the loans we work on. I'm looking for a new job as we speak.  I know you're right. It's time to cut the cards and put my face in that book again.  How are you doing?  Hugs, Marie

Morning Marie.. I think you did a good first step by coming here and sharing.  Putting it out here so you can actually SEE IT.. and allowing others to give you hand up. I would suggest..  just MO. getting closer with your Higher Power.. usually if we poor more time and love into *that*,  we fill that *need* of trying to find the love elsewhere.  ie : vodkie.. clothes.. books.. cds.. food.. material things that won't fill that void(love).   Do you have the book A DAY AT A TIME.. I love.. love.. love mine.  I have an extra and will send it to you if you would like.  Just pm me a mailing address.  I like today's that I posted.. and the next few days are very reflective.  I will post them each day. Friday I was under a little stress.. it was happy stress but still some anxiety.  I first thought damnn a drink would help..  but *knew* that wasn't the answer as I sipped on my diet cherry 7-up.  And the next day a friend/coworker asked if I wanted one of her *pills* to calm me.  I said NO.. I don't want to self-medicate to get me thru this.  Instead.. God and I had some conversations.. and I was good to goHe's my medication now... actually He was always there.. but thankfully I've found the friend that *I've* neglected. best wishes and keep us posted Marie.. and again if you would like that book, let me know oh yeah.. and a trick I read before.. if you are scared to *cut up* charge cards.. place them in water and freeze them.  When you have the urge to get to them you can't and by the time they thaw out.. you may have overcome the urge.  Altho if online has all your info anyways.. that does no good..  I would say GO TO ANY LENGTHS.. but then.. cutting up doesn't fix the inner you.  It's temporary fix.  YOU must fix the spiritual you. which reverts back to my post above..

Hey chickie!  You're right about the WHAT I'm looking for to fill the void. I know I still don't love me nearly as much as I need to. I've actually been getting closer to G-d again and it's helped immeasurably. Tomorrow I see my shrink and Wednesday I meet iwth a Rabbi I've been talking with. I'm still looking for a temple to call "home" and I think I found it. This guy is young with a wonderful family, and great congregation of people. I need to start LIVING more spiritually the way I know I need to.  I cut the card up yesterday.  :)  When I decided I had to stop drinking, I planned the last drink, had it and wiped the apt. and me clean of all traces of my drug of choice to make the transition easier. NOW, I cut the car, and went to QVC and Zappos wehre my info is on file and deleted it all. I still have one card (the one I don't use) and that stays in the house. It's goign to be trickier when my tank is on empty, but with some planning, I'll do ok. I know I'll hit a rough patch for a few months, (like earlier I wanted to hit Target...but I don't need anythign so I read and watched tv instead), and I'm glad this board is here. :) Thanks!! Marie

.."I know I still don't love me nearly as much as I need to." the best way I know of feeling love.. is to give it.  Like a boomerang.. throw it out there.. and I bet it comes back to you.  I think I read something like that somewhere once.. and I believe it.  If not to a person.. or people.. then to your Higher Power. I'll get the book out to ya

Thank you again, girlfriend!  You're the best!! Hugs, Marie