alcohol

i have turned my food addiction to alchol.I'm drunk, what do i do?

I am currently in your situation and have also turned to alcohol to numb my feelings that food used to do. Last week I realized that I would be dead soon if I didn't get it under control and contacted my family doctor and he is helping me work through it.  Right now we are working on getting me weined off the alcohol and joining a local AA.  I fully understand how you are feeling.  I have 4 children and have been feeling that lately they would be better off without me. How could I do this to myself and let myself get like this.  I really hope you will talk to me because no one here understands anything I am going through.  My husband tries to understand but has no clue what this addiction has done to me and how hard it is for me. I would love to talk if you're interested and we could both help each other get through this.  Don't give up and take it one day at a time.  Atleast that's what I am trying to do.  Please don't give up. Jessica

Hi Jessica, Everyone here on this list knows exactly what you're going through. We've all been where you are, hon. I'm sober going on 22 years, but there are times when I know I haven't really conquered this addiction. Maybe I never will the way I *think* I should but I work my program as best I can, for sure. Different thigns work for different people. If you are a meeting person, www.aa.org will help you find one in your area. I found one I liked that was all women, non-smoking and very helpful. I'm also working my steps and rediscovering G-d as I understand Her.  Either way, when you post here, please know that your posts are understood and empathized with. I swore to myself, my daughter and my husband (who quit drinking with me) that I'd NEVER live in the bottom of a bottle again. By the grace of G-d I haven't. Don't get me wrong, I still fight that demon, but it's at least now, my head is clearer.  If I can be there for you online, feel free to PM me! I check this board at least once a day! Marie

Marie, Thank you so much for the support.  My doctor says the drug he prescribed is helping me get over the physcial withdrawal from the alcohol but now it's the psychological addiction I'm fighting with.  I've been sober 1 week and it feels like total torture.  I think about drinking every second of every minute of every hour, well you understand.  I've been in contact with a local AA member but I have not attended a meeting yet.  I feel so humiliated and embarrassed that I've gotten myself into this situation and I just want to keep it hidden but my doctor said I will never be able to overcome this on my own from his point of view.  Congrats on your 22 years sober and I hope to be able to one day say the same for myself.  It just feels so excruitiating at times and it would be so much easier to just buy the alcohol and drink it but that wouldn't get me any closer to sobriety.  Right now being only a week out I'm not even sure I want to be sober.  It's just such a confusing time and I'm thankful that no one here has been judgemental like on some other websites I posted on.  Thank you for being so understanding. Jessica

I remember feeling EXACTLY how you do right now. I was ashamed as well, and to this day wish I'd gotten the support of a formal meeting and sponsor. I waited too long in retrospect. But guess what? EVERYONE ELSE IS THERE FOR THE SAME REASONS YOU ARE! :)  All of us have that addictive, obsessive compulsive gene in our DNA. An addict is an addict is an addict. For the first two years of my sobriety I didnt' accept social invitations. Even going to dinner, we had to go to a place that didn't serve alcohol. I knew I'd say I'm going to the ladies room and stop at the bar and never leave until closing. I was that terrified of being trapped in a bottle again. The drugs available now to help with cravings weren't even in the planning stages when I got dry. :) Good for you for making the start!!!  When I told my brother about my face first dive into a drunken stupor and my climb out of it, he was inspired to go to an AA meeting himself. NOT because he is an alocholic like me, but because he felt that people who are there, WANT to rebuild their lives and will give an honest days work a real shot. He's helped a lot of guys by hiring them to work on his painting crews ever since. I'm proud of him for giving so many people a helping hand up.  You CAN do this! :) Marie

Hi rainsunbow, I'm gonna blow my anonymity right here. I'm an addict, in recovery now for 6 yrs. Many people are in denial about their addictions be it food alcohol drugs what have you. You've taken a step towards getting better by admitting whats happened. I go to meetings on a daily basis, because thats what works for me. I strongly urge you to attend a meeting whether its AA,NA or any group where everybody is in the same boat and can offer you their experience strength and hope. You are not alone, nor are you unique, this happens to many many people. It may be scary at first but if you ask for help you will get it. It keeps progressively getting worse if you don't do some thing about it . I wish you well, and I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. .... Inky

I understand with you totally.  I had surgery in 10/2006 and lost 90lbs.  During my weight loss period I discovered my husband 1st affair and we began counseling.  It started with 1 or 2 drinks a day and that was one year after surgery.  After the discovery of the 2nd affair and filing for divorce, beer became my best friend.  There was nothing that alcohol couldn't do.  It numb the lonliness, calm my anger, made me feel empowered, helped me sleep, and my 1-2 a day soon progressed to a 12 pack and passing out every night where ever I was laying or sitting.  I live alone so it was easy to hide the problem.  I had it all worked out.  Called to check in with family and friends before I got to wasted and told them  I was calling it a night...then the party started.  I would drin****il I passed out or all the beer in the house was gone.  Occasionally, I would even drive to the store to get more....totally wasted.    I hit rock bottom on monday night and decided to get help.  I went to my family doctor today who perscribed Topamax to help with the cravings.  I have been sober now for 3 days.   I feel better in the mornings but the nights are still lonely (I spend them with family and friends) and the cravings are still intense!!  I don't think they warn us enough about the transfer addictions but they are real.  I'm gonna check this regularly because I know we are all in this together.