screaming mad help

the truth is, im bored, i would NEVER hurt myself, I love my child too much, plus his was home at the time,  I guess I was just being dramatic, i went to the store and all hell broke loose. Every one was looking at my post but not replying and it was making me mad, because i was drunk, i have a drinking problem i just wanted some attention. it started a few years after my surgery, i replaced food with alcohol.  but i wish i hadn't said i was suicidal, because i was just trying to get attention, because no one was replying.  well it got my inlaws involved, i have no idea how they tracked them down, now i feel worse because i had a perfect relationship with them, and now they think im crazy.  i wish they had called my parents instead, they already know im crazy, lol.  does anyone wish they never had surgery, yeah im skinny, but WOW, im an alcoholic now, its much worse.  I had a perfect relationship with my husband, but now things have changed, Obesity help sent the cope to my house,  it was my dumb ass who said i was suicidal, but i was just trying to get attention, i would never kill myself because of my kid, otherwise, i don't knoe

Trish is right hun.. you can be skinny and sober, if that's what YOU want.  You don't have to live the way you are.. if you are not happy with who you are and how life is treating you.. it can all change.  The first step is (and this is what changed me) is to go to an AA meeting and listen.. that's all.. just go and listen.  What's to lose ??  Actually.. I gained a lot by going.. I've been sober since 11/18/06.. one day at a time.  And you can have that too .. if you want it  lord knows my life was pretty screwed up before I sobered up.. so I knew I had to do something. btw.. it's okay about saying you were suicidal.. I'm really GLAD that Obesity Help took it seriously... and I'm really glad that you didn't mean it.  I understand how just seeing people view your post and not commenting made you angry and wanting someone (anyone) to post to you.  You've explained it.. and regret having done it.. so we (this board of people)  will just move on and put *that* behind us. anywho.. I must go to bed, I have to work in the morning.. so have a good evening and hope to hear back from YOU.

What are you doing to help yourself with your drinking problems?  I am going to AA meetings.  A lot of us have drinking problems, and go to AA for help with it.  You can get help and attention there. 

I replied to your first post about the alcoholism but wanted to make sure you got my post so I'm reposting here. I just wanted to make sure you know that you are not alone in this. I am currently in your situation and have also turned to alcohol to numb my feelings that food used to do. Last week I realized that I would be dead soon if I didn't get it under control and contacted my family doctor and he is helping me work through it.  Right now we are working on getting me weined off the alcohol with a prescription drug and I'm joining a local AA.  I fully understand how you are feeling.  I have 4 children and have been feeling that lately they would be better off without me. How could I do this to myself and let myself get like this.  I really hope you will talk to me because no one here understands anything I am going through.  My husband tries to understand but has no clue what this addiction has done to me and how hard it is for me. I would love to talk if you're interested and we could both help each other get through this.  Don't give up and take it one day at a time.  Atleast that's what I am trying to do.   Please don't give up.   Jessica

thanks everyone!  With the whole AA thing, is it religious?

sorry I haven't responded sooner.  I read your question and was trying to think of the *appropriate* answer..  and could not.  So I will just give you *my* answer.. for ME it is spiritual.. and I make it more spiritual/religious because that's what helps (works for) ME.  I *need* that one on one daily conversation with my God/Higherpower to not drink..  I need to feel loved unconditionally and if I put all my faith into Him then I feel and get that love in return and it soothes me.  So for me AA is spiritual and I like that because it gives me inner peace and calm and I'm sooo grateful not for just AA but for *everything* in my life.   About 3 years ago I got my first DUI.. blew twice the legal limit.. had fines.. house arrest.. etc.   I didn't stop drinking then.. I just then started drinking at home.. but it was the start of hitting a bottom of where I was beginning to see consequences for my drinking actions.  After becoming sober.. I WAS/AM so grateful I received that DUI.. it was the start for me realizing what kind of problem I had.  Also I was so damn thankful that the police didn't let me drive more and possible kill someone.  Of course at the time I didn't see it that way.. what I saw was an obsticale in the way of my drinking.. how in the world was I gonna continue to drink and not drive.  So that's when I just started drinking at home.. alone.. and found out how lonely that was.  Hell that's why I wanted to drink was to party with people.  I was skinny for the first time in a longgg time and wanted to share my new self with others.  But now I was home alone.. drinking and lonely.. something had to give.  For me.. it took someone else coming here and staying with me that had a problem also.  I began to realize what I looked like.. and knew where I was heading.  Inorder to help him, I went to an AA meeting.. and that's when I became sober.  Sadly he has not made it yet, but there is a way to live a more peaceful and dramafree life..   Okay.. sorry I went off all about me.. I just kind of get excited and want to share.  I just want others to have what I have and to be happy BUT.. If you don't want it to be spiritual.. or religious.. others who are Agnostic in AA may be able to better help explain how it works for them.   There are those in the group also.. your best bet is to go.. listen.. try and get what you can from people just talking in the beginning.  See if what they say.. and their experiences with alcohol is at all similar to your experiences.  If so.. maybe later you will feel like sharing.  It's not required tho.. have a good evening Rainsunbow

AA is not religious, but spiritual.  It is based on spiritual principles of belief in a Higher Power to find relief for your drinking problem.  It is also based on the belief that there is strength in the group of AA.   I suggest you go to AA's website to study about it.  http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/?Media=PlayFlash When I go to meetings, I don't drink.  When I don't go to meetings, I drink.  It is as simple as that.  There is a miracle in attending meetings where I am concerned. Good luck.

I haven't gone to the web site yet but i will, thanks.  I am not sure yet if AA will be for me, I will read about it and then post.  I may start with a therapist.  BTW i have not had a drink in 4 days and i seem not really care, I'm too concerned about how I am going to deal with the inlaw dilema.  Thank you all for your stories.  After i have a chance to read about AA i will get back and post a long post.  talk to you soon.

I think i have decided to start with a therapist.  I completely respect and support whatever anyone wants to believe in.  I think it's great when people can help themselves buy having faith in what they believe in. However, it does seem that AA wants you to accept  a higher power.  Please respect my beliefs too.  Ever since i can remember i have had too many questions about a higher power/god/religion, and bible. I always found it strange that most people believe what they believe because their parents told them too.  Jewish people are children of Jewish parents, Catholic people are children of catholic parents and so on.  Had I been born in a different family I would believe somthing different, its the same with morals, etc.  I decided when I went off to college I was going to decide what was right for me, not my parents.  Obviously there are going to be people who choose god on thier own, and I think that is great.  I don't fit into an athiest or egnostic category either, but more i just don't know.  Until it's proven to me, i choose to believe that their is a possibility of god, but i can't know for sure.  There is no one who would be able to convince me that he/she does exist just because it's been past on from generation to generation.  Therefore it does seem like AA is not for me.   Now for the bible, not that it has anything to do with AA but, evolution is almost proven, and I can't argue with science.  I am way to educated not to.  I believe is it a great book of morals, and was written in a time when morals were needed most.  A novel just like anything else at barnes and noble.  A book based on dreams.  I could go on for days but it is scientifically proven in geology that the earth was never all water, therefore Noah could never have been a true story, thats for a start.  But again, it's good stuff to live your life by. So AA is a great program, but not for me

Hi there Rain! I can understand your concern about the 'religious' aspect of AA.  When you look at the hypocritical, (Jim Baker, Swaggert, and others) and just plain critical view many religions espouse its easy to turn a back on that part. But AA doesn't call for that.  The key belief is that you have believe in something greater than yourself, basically admitting that the world doesn't revolve around you.  I have friends with a variety of higher powers.  One had selected a huge old oak tree and used it much like the ancient druids would have, another used a big boulder figuring that if he couldn't budge it with his own hands then it was greater than him.  Me -- I have a higher power I CHOOSE to call God.  He definitely is not the god that the bible thumpers yell at me about.  [No Old Testament wraiths, etc.]  Instead I know my higher power by that feeling I get when I open myself up to listen to others and when I do what fits in with my personal sense of right and wrong.  For the most part in my case that follows many of the New Testament principles and the biggies of the 10 commandments, but again that is ME.  AA accepts All and that is its real strength.  They will love you warts and all even if no one else will. Some groups are better fits than others so please give a try and don't be discouraged if the first one doesn't seem right, just try a different one with new folks; there are as many different types of groups as there are the people that make up this disease. Giving you all my love and wishing the best for you.... T