How Not to Recovery

I am a poster child for relapse.  I have relapsed over and over, most recently on Wednesday and Thursday nights.  I can tell you how not to recover by telling you what I did NOT do.  I did not call my sponsor.  I have not been to an AA meeting in over a month.  I did not pray, meditate, or do any deep breathing.  I did not make any phone calls, read any recovery literature, or think it through.  I did not work the steps.   Do not think I am beating myself up, because that is not the purpose of this post.  The purpose is to educate myself, and anyone else out there who cares, on how NOT to relapse.  I have been struggling since my surgery with the food and alcohol and it is due to these things I just shared.   So, I just had to put my hand up and share where I am at today. Huggles, Trish

Huggles to you too Trish.. I know you're an educated lady who *knows* the correct choices.. and I *know* it's all up to you to make those decisions and WORK IT.    Is it time *now* to seperate from the drinking.. you may not be ready.  Or if you are, are you able to stay away from the drinking all on your own even if you do want to..??  You know that rehab or detox may be needed again.. just to get you away from the opportunity of getting a drin****il your system is rid of the toxins. Thanks for putting this out here..  it means more to us than I think *you* know and for the record.. I still love ya and will keep you in my prayers..  love, Rhonda

Thanks Rhonda, I never went to rehab.  I got it the first time, and can get it this time.  Meetings and working the steps is what I need to do.  I just need to get my a** to a meeting, when I get healthy enough to get to one.  I have been sick with cellulitis and bronchitis and can barely get to work right now.  I have not had a drink since Thursday, and am doing the footwork, except the meeting, so I am hanging in there.  I do not have the urge to drink, so something is working right now.   Hugs, Trish

Hi Trish, I'm right there with you. I've spent a lot of money this past weekend....and last weekend..and the one before that. I can try to justify my spending all I want, but most of it is acting out. I'm not sure if I need to find a meeting or what, but I know WHY I shopped my ass off...at least I figured out that much.   Hugs and much love... Marie

Thanks Marie, Like you, I know why I drank.  It was about the abandonment issues with therapy and if I move to Michigan and all that complex transference stuff that goes with therapy.  My therapist helped me work on it a lot on Saturday, which was a huge relief.  I have not wanted a drink since then.  I am doing a lot of self-soothing now as a result. Hugs, Trish