Scared into quitting

Hi, I'm new to this board, never even knew it existed.  I am 3 years post-op and  had lost from 274# to about 155 # (I'm only 5'0") so that was not ideal, but I was comfortable and happy with the way I felt and looked and I had been able to reduce many medications and get off C-PAP for sleep apnea.  Overall a pretty great success for me.  I had quit smoking about 5-6 months before surgery and have never gone back to that.  Here's the bad news part.  I always loved drinking wine.  Well sometime last spring or summer, I really started upping my intake and the pounds started to come back, to say nothing of what else it could have been doing to my body. Let me tell you that I was so bad, that I would drink it like juice in the morning and anytime I was home, my beverage of choice..  My husband would  make gentle suggestions that I was drinking to much, but I just ignored him, because I knew it and didn't want to hear it.  I would tell myself that I would stop or decrease, but that always only lasted a day or so.  Well, January 6 I fell down my basement stairs carrying a lot of stuff down, but suffered several injuries including a broken eye socket, broken arm, and nose broken in 2 places and lots and lots of bruising.  The first thing the plastic surgeon asked me was had I been drinking.  Well the accident happened at 10:30 in the morning.  I couldn't lie to him and had to say that I had had some wine.  How pathetic is that?  Since then, I've had to have 2 surgeries, so am on some narcotic pain meds, but trying to wean off.  My husband (thank the lord for him) has been much more adamant about not drinking, though that first week or two was really tough.  Now I can get through the days without it and hopefully that is not because of the pain meds.  I am a professional and am going to go back to work next week-after the accident.  I have found a substitute beverage: Diet ocean spray cranberry juice which is only 5 calories for 8 ounces;  I go through a lot of it, but know in my heart that it is so much better for me.  I had to get this off my chest, I have been too embarrassed to discuss it with anyone before, so I was glad to find this forum.  Thanks for listening.  I know I will still face some difficult times.  I am hoping that my weight will start to go back down too. 

Hello and welcome!! :)  It takes courage to put your words out there! Feel good about that! Good for you for switching out the wine for juice! I switched mine out for coffee several years ago and am glad I did! I think it's wonderful your husband is so wonderful to you! Mine quit drinking with me 22 years ago and while it wasnt' exactly the same problem for him that it was for me, neither of us have touched a drink since. I hope things go well for you!! Marie

Thanks for sharing where you are at right now.  Do you attend AA?  When I attend meetings, I have more strength to face life without alcohol than when I don't.  The 12 Steps really help me. Hope you keep posting how you are doing. Hugs, Trish

Thanks for the support. No I don't attend AA.  Never had the courage to do it.  Yesterday when I went grocery shopping though,  I walked through the wine isles and didn't allow myself to even think about putting any in the cart.  I think if I had some now, it would just start over again.  I can't risk that. chris

Thanks for the support.  My husband never has been a drinker, he will very occasionally have a drink at a social event, but certainly not on a regular basis.  He actually was quite addicted to smoking and he actually got scared into quitting smoking just a few weeks after I had my RNY.  He got a really bad infection from having a tooth removed and ended up on a ventilator in ICU.  He hasn't smoked since.  That has made it much easier for me also.  No cigarettes around!!!!  I do share some of your shopping addiction though.  I tell myself that I am just bargain hunting! I usually can have some control over that, though I consider it entertainment!  I will keep in touch on this board .   You all are very supportive of each other and that is wonderful!  Chris

Hi Chris!! Last night at a WLS group meeting, one of the surgeons answered a question about drinking post-op. He said that HALF a drink hits us now like 3 or 4...OMG! I was shocked to hear that. I don't DARE drink again...I live with a perpetual, abject FEAR of never getting out of the bottle again...You've heard the "one is too many and 1000 would never be enough" saying?? Well I'm the post child for that one!  I believe he also said that the alcohol effects stay with us longer.  You might feel fine after one or half of one drink, but an hour later your blood alcohol levels won't BE fine.  I remember not accepting wedding invites or party invites for the first TWO YEARS of my sobriety, We only went out for fast food because you couldn't get a drink there.  My point is I had a plan, I did what I had to to keep me sober. You need to do the same. I didnt' go to my first AA meeting until I was dry 5 years. I wish I had done the traditional route from day one though. It's so hard doing it on your own. I was ashamed at first. THEN, when the real me was back, I got my confidence....and I am damn proud to be sober 22 years now. I followed the 12 steps then, and do it now.  I strongly recommend AA meetings. I found a woman's non-smoking meeting that was wonderful! www.aa.org . Follow that link for meetings in your area. You CAN do this!! Hugs, Marie

I just posted for the first time.  I am so embarrassed, but yes I picked up drinking wine to replace the food I missed so much.  How is it going for you?  Good I hope.  I must get at least 20 of thse pounds off.  Last night was my first night not drinking and it was not so tough as I had a lot to do with my daughter.  Won't be that way tonight and I already hear that beast telling me one drink won't hurt.  I must realize it is not me, but the desire to drink.....and ignore it.  I've found that going to bed earlier and reading a humorous book helps!  hang in there....everyone has something!

I am so glad you posted, it seems it was so easy to just drink wine when I got home from work.  I do so want to continue to do without and I am determined to do so.  If you can get through the first couple of weeks, it won't seem so difficult, at least that is the way it seems to me.  I can say that it has been about 4 weeks since I have had any wine at all, though a friend and I split a "Mikarita" on my birthday, but that was that and none since.  I just drink my diet cranberry juice in my wine glasses! LOL Psych myself out!  I am back to work following my accident so am busy.  Not that i was that tempted while I was home on sick leave.  It feels good to be able to admit it to people and know that I am not the only one going down this road!  Chris

I think you are so right....in knowing we are not alone.  I feel like everyone in my neighborhood thinks I'm a drunk to the point I don't want to go out.  I've always had poor self-esteem and the weight I carried all my life added to that.  That devil is talking to me know as it is time to go home.....Wish me luck!...and good luck to you and glad you are better.

Thanks and happy valentines day.  Cheers to you with something non-alcoholic!