Triggers

Recognising your triggers and acting upon them are 2 different things.

I'm 31 years old and know what this trigger is, but I'm sitting here telling myself all I want to do is go to the liquer store after work.

trigger = dog dying and my ob telling me my thyroid is "extremely enlarged" and I need to go in for ultrasounds of my throat.

The bad part is, they both happened yesterday, and I have no desire to care for myself. I have put my dog before me. I will be by her side for this. As dramatic as that may sound. She's my best friend, in more ways than one. She's been there for me too many times, and has saved my life twice, I'm not making that up.

With that, triggers....What a month to quit drinking(again) and wean myself from all mental meds(dr is fully aware) to actually absorb wtf is going on in life, instead of covering them with drugs or alcohol.

*sigh*

Reading your post reminded me of when I had to put my dog down years ago.  Oh, it hurt like Hell.  It was toward the end of my marriage, and my sobriety was not a huge priority to me at that time.  Pain, especially that pain, is a huge trigger.   I also remember a time when I had an undiagnosed benign cyst in my breast and had to wait two solid months till I knew it was benign and not cancer.  I was sober then, and I was in close, concious contact with God throughout that entire two month period.   Triggers are out of our control.  But, acknowledging them, working the second and third step, turning them over and over and over, ad nauseum, can help.  Keep praying.  Get on your knees and pray like never before to not drink over the F***ing feelings.   If you need to talk, I am home.  PM me and I will call you. Hugs, Trish

there will always be life issues..and problems.. of course not at the STRESS level as these are for you right now, but there will always be something.  So right NOW is the perfect time to stop drinking I was reflecting back on my drive into work today about when my drinking had gotten to it's worst.. and funny how I remember thinking.. damn.. I need to slow down, but didn't.  I never would go to AA altho I did think I might have a problem.. and was worried about what I was going to do. ~sounds weird, can't explain it~... I remember having a date with a guy I met at the bar.. he was coming over to watch a movie ~to get away from the bar scene~ and I HAD to have a drink.. and did before he got there.. and a couple times after that.  He didn't drink there.. and I know he thought I had a problem.. and any other time in my life I would not have had to had that drink and I would have thought that person has a problem too..  and even when drinking it I was wondering.. what the hell is my problem.  it literally took Dan coming here for me to (see and find the strength) within ME to stop drinking cuz I wanted to help him.. but now with it out of my system and my head clearer..I want to help ME!!.. and thank GOD I don't want to drink now.. I've thought about it.. thinking it would be nice.. I wish I could be normal.. it would be fun to meet up with friends for a couple drinks.. BUT I also think.. Rhonda.. you can't.. you KNOW what road that will take you too again and I DON'T want it.  I like being sober.. and on time for work.. and not hungover.. and able to go out on the weekends and do stuff.. and not trying to hide out from my mom/dad/sister.. and (for now) I'm good with that..  I still haven't been to a meeting..  but I still have not drank either..  love ya

omg - it must be dog week.  My doxie has developed IVDD - a degenerative disease of the spine.  The last 3 days have been sheer HELL for me.  He woke up one morning and could not walk - just drug his legs behind him, and was trembling and in pain.  He spent over 24 hrs at the vet on IV anti inflammatory and steroidal meds and he's home now with me again.   The meds have helped - he is walking again but wobbly - and on strict crate rest while taking a 2 week course of meds. I thought I was going to lose him.  I thought I'd be faced with choosing a 3K surgery or euthanasia.  I thought and feared the worst.  I came completely unglued.  You'd have thought it was one of my kids and not my dog.  I longed to get rip roaring drunk.  BUT - with me, when I can see triggers, I can spank myself into behaving.  It's those triggers I don't see until later - the compulsive behavior masked with a "cuz i felt like it" that later on a bell rings and I'm like "DOH - that's why I felt like it"  Those get me. Hope everything turns out well with your throat and I'll call up some doggie angels to take good care of your furbaby. love and light, m