Honesty

Two weeks ago today, I got roaring drunk on a bottle of wine.  I was experiencing a ton of shame about my financial situation, and had driven past my ex's house and saw how great his house was inside with the tree and all the nice furniture.  I was supposed to drop off a porta crib for my daughter, but drove away instead.  The next day, I got drunk.   I did not share it because I could not deal with it with my surgery two days later, and the holidays and the kids and all that.  I also had not spoken with my therapist or my sponsor.  I did finally get to speak with my therapist on Friday, and he encouraged me to get to a meeting, which I did yesterday morning.  I then spoke with my sponsor tonight and spilled my guts big time.  She asked me to call her daily, and to write on powerlessness, especially about alcohol. I have not had a drink since, and don't really want one.  I am experiencing a ton of shame about that, on top of my money situation. I am going to see my family doctor about a possible ear infection, because I am in a ton of pain this weekend.  I did want to drink yesterday because of the pain, but today, I just want to see my doc.  Thanks, Trish

Thanks for the honesty Trish.. I'm sure YOU needed that more than we did.  Now just keep reminding yourself of the loving words you've shared with others who has had a slip  Keep going to the meetings.. talk **** out even if it's to just us..  and don't ever let it bottle up inside you!!  

Thanks Rhonda, I have been doing a lot of isolating lately.  I made a commitment to my sponsor to call her daily.  I had not been calling her at all prior. Hugs, Trish

I love you Trish and sending lots of hugs your way!!

You have no idea how much that means to me today.  Love you too. Hugs, Trish

Hey chickie...remember:  You're human too! You'll be ok. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and put the speed bump behind you, girlfriend!! Much love, Marie

Marie, I am trying to do that.  I wrote four pages on powerlessness last night.  It is hard to separate alcohol from all the other things I am powerless over.  I did realize that I was not working my program at all, not even taking care of my spiritual program of prayer and church and fellowship.   Today I am okay.  I have to go to my family doc for an ear infection. Have a great day,  Love back atcha, Trish

hugs and support coming your way. I'm glad that you find this to be a safe place to share.  If I didn't have you guys well.......  I just don't know. You're still one of my biggest heros! Love you lady! M

Thanks Michelle, I love this place, it is very special to me.  I felt like a heel holding onto the truth, but I needed to talk to my sponsor first. She is picking me up for my meeting tomorrow morning at 5:40.  I am thrilled that I am getting back to my meetings. Hugs, Trish