I'm anxious..

today is not a real good day for me.. it's a year anniversary from a day that was not a good day.  This is the day that I went home and Dan was tore-up.. we argued.. I fixed a dish while arguing with him to take to my sister's Thanksgiving.. that I went to by myself.. cuz he was still drunk/hungover.  I told my family why he didn't come rather than covering up for him... he's home today sick.. i worry about that too.. just a bad memory/thought.. I probably need alanon today.. but will go to AA tonight and announce that I have 1 year sober.  he'll probably read this.. but that's okay.. he can know that it's not a good day for me.  I'm trying to let go, let GOD.. but it doesn't stop the anxious feeling I have in the pit of my stomach.  But like all things.. this to shall pass. hugss..

 1 year sober - fantastic!  And remember...every day is a new beginning...don't waste positive energy reliving the past.....you are doing terrific!  Happy Thanksgiving!  Take care - deb 

You say you cannot forget
And you aren't ready to forgive
But I need your friendship
More than you'll even know
I need you there to live

Without you by my side today
Life's been going, oh so slow
I miss your calls
Our endless talks
The places we would go

You can't even bear to look at me,
And I know my mistake
For because of one night,
And a few thoughtless actions,
When you saw me you ran and hid

I know we cannot take it back
As much as we would like to
But we could forget
And start all over
Just friends, that's me and you

If time is what you need,
Then I guess that's what you'll get
But I need you there for me soon,
My friend,
I hope you will forget.


Still sober 150 days today Love ya honey

Next year, you'll feel better.  The year after that even better.  At some point you will look at the day as a catalyst for change - which obviously has been a good thing in your life judging where things are today. Feel anxious - it's normal.  Feel it until the anxiety is gone.  Own it, recognize it, call it out ..  All of this you are doing.  Wow dealing in a healthy way!  I'm so damn jealous!  **HUG** Time takes time, right? Loving you and sending some tranquility angels your way, Michelle

Congratulations on ONE year!!!!  That is awesome.   Your anxiety is understandable, but not to be obsessed about.  I would encourage you to focus on the positives.  Make a list of the things you are grateful for today, and look back on the good things God has given you in your first year of sobriety.  When we focus on the things we are grateful we chase away the negative stuff. Keep up the good work.  Hugs, Trish