This is not good....

(taken from my sober but not dead forum)


LizziePittsburgh[07:29am] : Morning Randy, todd, everyone else. today is day 120 and I'm noticing that i think my addictions are changing....this is not good......first it was food, then alcohol, now, I've noticed myself not taking the recomended dosage of certain prescription medications.

LizziePittsburgh[07:31am] : I am gonna have to go talk to my dr's. One of scripts makes me not want to eat(I have serious stomach issues), and the other one just chills me the hell out. Again, I say my poor husband*hangs head in shame* Long story short, I got home around 8.30-9pm, sedated myself to go to bed, went upstair

LizziePittsburgh[07:33am] : s to change into my pj's, go play with the one cat who loves the bathtub so i hop in the bathtubto play with the cat, fall asleep in the tub, and used my pants as a blanket.(mind you the dog is still outside) husband comes home from work around midnight finds the dog outside, and me sleeping in the

LizziePittsburgh[07:36am] : bathtub using my pants as a blanket, and the cat sitting in the tub with me. This is not good. I didn't drink, but I ate xanax, ativan, celexa, and 1 tylenol pm. What the hell is wrong with me. No wonder I passed out in the bathtub with the cat and left the dog out in the rain/snow mix. ....bbl

Very disturbing to me. I don't trust myself again. *shaking head*

I didn't put this post up to discourage anyone, I put it up so you people that read and don't post, understand this is not easy. It's freakin rediculous that I can't control my addictive behavior. and rediculous that even my shrink can't help me at this point. I'm giving myself 2 weeks to clean up my act or I'm gonna make my husband put me in a detox place. We talked about it yesterday. It's bad when my husband has to count my prescription meds, and other stomach meds to make sure I'm not eating too many. The stomach meds make me not eat, and my shrink meds put me in la la land.

Everything will be alright, I know this, I need to get back on track with my aa/na meetings, find me a new sponsor, and do nothing.

ok...I'ma go do some work.


Liz

love you Lizzie keep fighting the battle hun..  the first time Dan got out of rehab.. he had asked in a AA meeting about pain killers.. he knew he would be having his hernia surgery.  Some suggestions were to give the pills to a responsible party to distribute as indicated.   Addicts can't be trusted it seems  nothing big.. just the plain truth, especially fresh into the recovery process!! Well he relapsed *and didn't tell me* prior to surgery.. and IMO did not take said pain killers as prescribed.. and even took some of my mom's.  I was worried.. concerned.. he had not given them to me to dispense as suggested.. but it worked out in the end.  His relapse came known.. he wanted.. got.. and MOST IMPORTANT had a spiritual awakening.. that helps him now.  Of course I *being the part alanon person I still am and addict* will worry again  when he needs a revision for his hernia.  Thanks for updating.. I understand the telling your story (good or bad) just in hopes it might help and encourage others.  That's why I put my life out there/here.. just to pay it forward!! love ya girlfriend and always will.. get the help you need and I'm glad to hear that Mike is supporting you I know he must love and want the best for YOU... and I know you must treasure him for that.  I hope that he's getting the support HE needs.. has he gone to any Alanon meetings??    

hugging you. haha I'm such a sick f&$$er that my first thought was "that lucky b**** - her doc gives her chill out meds!"  :-) No seriously, you are not so different than the rest of us - doggone it huh?  When I was first getting sober, my doc prescribed ambian for sleep and xanax for the anxiety attacks.  Well if each is good in its own right, why not take the xanax WITH the ambian at night eh?  ha!  stupid huh?  after sleeping for a good 15 hours and missing the kids school, alarms, work, phone, kids trying to wake me - um no good Michelle.  But hey i wasn't drinking!  lol Hang in there girl - keep fighting. love, Michelle

Hi Honey, When I first got sober in 1989, I was taking xanax.  I abused it, and finally got sober from alcohol.  My therapist was concerned that I was prescribed the xanax knowing that xanax is not a good idea for alcoholics in recovery to take.  He suggested I tell my family doc, who gave me the xanax Rx that I am an alcoholic.  I did tell family doc, and he changed my prescription to Buspar.  Less sedating. Xanax is on a list of meds that a lot of rehabs do not allow clients to take.  It is addictive, and can trigger relapses. Talk to your doc and be honest. Hugs, Trish