Need some help from ppl who live this...

Ok...WHEN does the gas and constipation go away? I see my surgeon Friday for my 90 day follow up...and I'll be talking to my nutritionist too...but DAYUM..I'm thinking this HAS to ease up someday. I'm gagging nightly on liquid colace and its' helping, but I'm so freaked about being addicted to laxatives, that I've GOT to find another way. Anyone have this happen to them?? Last night I wanted to act out in the worst way. I wanted so bad to shackle and whip the sonofa***** who walked out of my life. Thank G-d that passed after a few hours. I know it's because I'm not getting what I need at home, but I don't want to stray. I guess I need to work on that wtih my shrink some more.  I have other projects to work on to get my mind off my cravings, but I haven't touched them yet. Why do I have the life preserver right in front of me and let it float right on by? I know that once I mail my  "toys" to my g/f in Atlanta I'll feel much better. In the meantime, I think I've got the baking thing controlled enough too. I wnat to bake, and even though I can keep the stuff down, the sugar content hurts. (not to mention that the sugar spikes are NOT fun for me either).... Help?! Marie

Hey there, You sound totally frustrated, and rightly so.  I rarely suffer from constipation.  I think it is because I cheat sometimes with my butter content, and that keeps things moving.   As for gas, Beano and GasX are my new best friends.  I keep them in my purse all the time, and use them like candy sometimes.   How is your water intake?  Caffeine will dehydrate you, so you need to compensate with more water.  I try to get in at least 75 ounces of water minimum a day. Whatever you do, do not, do not, do not act out.  Call me if you need to talk. 215-750-1619 Hugs, Trish

I've been eating Gas Relief thingies like candy. One day last week I ate NINE of them!! Still had gas. I see my surgeon this friday and plan on asking him what the hell's going on.  I'm SERIOUSLY hoping this si not a lifetime affliction!!

I'm in a rough spot in that I want to email him so bad. I know you can relate when I tell you his sex  was incredible. But I also think he's smart enough not to email back even if I did. He seems stronger than I am right now. I am so confused by this. I've not touched a drop of booze in 21 years and counting....how can I be so weak for this man? It's not the BDSM, its' not the blood play or the whipping or the floggings. It's HIM. I got emotional and never should have. I spose this is what I get for breaking the rules.  I know the less I like myself tje more I need attention and affection from other men.This is goign to be a long rough road for me, I can feel it.  Thanks for being there!  You're the best Trish! Marie

Hey Girl, I hear you on the guy thing.  Right now, my emotions are all kaflooey about a telephone relationship.  He lives two hours away, and I cannot/should not continue the phone calls with him.  I refrain from calling him, but I do not mind at all when he calls me, and he does call with regularity.  I wrote a letter to my therapist letting him know where I am at with this, because I can deny it in a New York minute in his office and not even bring it up.  So, last night, while talking with V on the phone, I ratted myself out to my shrink.  I mailed it today, and expect him to receive it before I see him on Friday. As for the gas, my best suggestion is to cut back on some of the more gaseous foods, like broccoli, cauliflower, peppers, onions, beans, etc.  If I remember correctly, it does improve, just stays but not as bad.  I have good days and bad days.  It all depends on my diet.   Good luck at your 3 month check-up. Hugs and love, Trish

I haven't even had much of those foods. Only red peppers. Sometimes the gas is so bad it makes me have cramps!  I know I'm under 200 now, but I won't take it as REAL until I'm on my doctor's scale! LOL...I've gotta find something less disgusting than liquid colace too. :( This is brutal!

Thanks for the help Trish! I'll be posting about my 3 mo. post-op by Friday afternoon!!

Marie

Hi Marie,

I know I'm late chiming in but I just wanted you to know I understand. If you think getting the toys in the mail with help....MAIL THEM! What helps me when I obsessing is to go all the way through the the end. Past all the 'good part' to where I feel like crap and am full of disgust, shame and guilt.

Tell me about your other projects? I need a 'safe' hobby, too!

Can't help you with the gas and constipation other than I hear you can take Magnesium to counteract the constipation brought on by the calcium supplements. There was an article on the RNY board a few days ago that explains it. I guess pooping regularly would help with the gas. I hope so anyway.

Hang in there. We're cheering for you!

Karen

 

Hi Karen,

Your comment about guilt and shame hit me. I don't remember ever feeling guilty for my domination. Only rarely did I ever feel ashamed.  It was a search to fill an emotional void more than for anything sexual. I would tell my partners beforehand that their marks are their problem and they're playing with a sadist. No safewords. For me it was real easy and I could (and can still) turn on the cast iron ***** in the blink of an eye. And for some fckd up reason, men and women love that. I'll never figure that one out.  As for other hobbies, I used to bake a LOT. Now I bake rarely and give it away to my neighbors so they can be fat and happy. I'm getting into beading, religion, and I do stained glass but I'm more of a beginner still. I haven't had the studio space to do anything in 4 yrs plus now. I really want to get back into it too. It's expensive, but a great hobby!! This year I've decided I am going to try snowboarding. Life is short. I've got diabetes, two heart attacks and a smaller stomach behind me...I've overcome a lot in my young life. This winter, I go for the slide!! :D Thanks for your support, Karen! It means so much!! Marie

Hi Marie,

I was more referring to the 'acting out' rather than guilt or shame from the actual bdsm acts. I never had any guilt about it either because it was absolutely fulfilling a need. My shame and regret came from the lies and deceit that were necessary for me to participate.

From one being on the receiving end, I can't explain it either but I do know what it helped me with the most is NOT having to be in control on the situation. I had so many other things I thought I had to control or could control that it brought me to that wonderful place on being taken care of with no responsibilities. And discipline...I was all over the place trying to make everything perfect. The discipline tought me to focus on what was important and the consequences of not being fully present. It still helps me to this day. I eventually lived the lifestyle 24/7, not just fit it in when I could. Although I haven't participated in years and have basically shut the door on that part of me, it's still there. Always will be.

So yeah, I don't have any hobbies or outside interests really, other than my meetings/fellowship/service with AA. I don't want that to change at all b/c it's life-saving for me. I've just now really begin to think about pursuing something. I'm sure something will appear now that I'm looking. Just. please God, let it be something healthy, non-destructive and socially acceptable! Oh, and preferably in a warm environment...I hate to be cold!....lol.

Thanks for your friendship. It's nice to talk about this to someone who gets it.

Karen

Wow...That's pretty wild, Karen! I would've loved the 24/7 lifestyle but my husband is on the same  side of the fence as I am! I got into it because my life was spinning out of control and my dungeon was the ONE place I called every blasted shot. I owned all the control and the responsibility. For that alone, I loved it! I It gave me my confidence back after things shattered.  As for hobbies, there's tons of stuff! What do you like to do? What do you want to create? Sounds like AA is your first hobby AND  your lifesblood ! :)  Nothing wrong with that, g/f!! Why not write a book on your experiences!? In less than a year you've lost an 8th grader!! :) YOU ROCK!!  This winter, I plan on snowboarding. And rekindling my sex life....and doing it all on my terms! :) Thanks for YOUR friendship, Marie