Eating Disordered Behaviors

I have known about my eating disorder much longer than I could imagine.  When I entered therapy, it was for the eating disorder, certainly not for alcoholism or a personality disorder.  I honestly had no clue I was as troubled as I was when I first met my therapist.  To make things worse, I had not even started bingeing when I first started my recovery. Michelle's share about purging got me to thinking about this.  After trying to not overeat, while first getting sober, I discovered purging.  It became addictive, just like all the other self-defeating behaviors in my repertoire.  It also did a lot of physical damage.  I developed the hiatal hernia and GERD, as well as bad teeth from the acid.  It also contributed to my first batch of ulcers.   When I first entered an outpatient program for eating disorders, I had trouble relating to the women, as I was so overweight, and so much older than them, I could not connect with them.  My second program was better.  There was a woman a little younger than me *****ally struggled with purging.  There was also a woman who had WLS who now struggles with anorexia.   It was in that treatment program that I learned the power of self-soothing.  I wish I could say I mastered that, but I am very stubborn and resistant.  The good news is, I have not purged since my surgery.  In fact, in spite of a few dumping episodes, I have not even vomited, though there has been the urge for the discomfort I felt.   My understanding is, eating disordered behaviors, whether it is overeating, purging, or starving, are addictive, and self-defeating.  I overcome them, the same way I deal with drinking.  Self-soothing, the 12 steps, and sharing my feelings with another human being..  Most importantly, I help someone else who is suffering.  That strengthens the healthy part of me. Just wanted to share some thoughts. Hugs, Trish

Trish,

Excellent post. You have had quite a journey and are doing excellent work to get better and help others. Thanks for your inspirational thoughts.

Love,
Karen

I'd like to learn more about self-soothing.  I don't know anything about that!

Hi Jill, Self-soothing is anything we do to center ourselves when we are upset or angry.  It can include a lot of things, and takes practice and trial and error to learn what works.  For me it includes prayer, meditation, deep relaxation breathing, exercise, journaling, listening to music, lighting candles, bubble baths, talking to someone, watching a funny movie, herbal tea, whatever helps you feel calmer. I once made a self-soothing emergency kit and put it in a shoebox.  In it I had a candle, a movie I enjoy when I am down, a meditation book, a CD of classical music and a small journal book.  I kept is in a safe place for when I had a crisis after my husband moved out. One of the things I learned in therapy is to do some sort of self-soothing everyday regardless of my state of mind, so that when a crisi****s, I am better prepared to deal with it. I hope this helps. Hugs, Trish

Great Post Trish.  I for one seem to forget about ''ME''. I do for others all the time and when it comes to ''ME'' well I forget or more so think maybe I am not worthy. Years of abuse seem to come into play. I do remember at times what my Counselor keeps saying and that is do something for yourself, something you like and he doesnt mean to do something for someone else. Go**** is difficult to concentrate on me. For example: when I get my nails done as I have done forever, I can not relax because I think I can do ????????? (fill in the blank). Eat disorder? You bet. A work in progress here also.......................Thanks again to you Trish....... Hugs..... Sharon