Bouncing transfers of addiction

I have a problem ~ I started AA on 10/8 and since I've quit drinking I have been eating ravenously (including, unfortunately, candy and sugary/carby snacks), drinking tons of coffee and just generally reverting back to the habits that made me fat in the first place.  And worse, I'm frequently making myself sick (either too full or dumping - which is crazy because i NEVER dumped from drinking).  One of the guys in my home group tried to make me feel better by saying, "No one gets arrested for driving fat", but I am terrified of gaining weight (already, it looks like I've gained two to three pounds - luckily my clothes still fit).  It's so stupid, but part of me wants to start drinking again, since I almost never ate when I was drinking....  I know this is a problem across our community, but I can't seem to find any other WLS patients in any of my meetings (or at least anyone who will admit it).  I'm feeling really challenged right now.  And like many others, I've also transferred addiction to spending money and am horribly in debt.  Why can't I transfer addiction to something healthy, like exercising????  Has anyone else experienced similar issues with the eating when they stopped drinking? Also, does anyone have any idea how to find a WLS focused AA meeting (if there is even any such thing)? Thanks, Diana

hi Diana, welcome to the board!

My first suggestion, go to your surgeon ask him about where you can find meetings about transferring addictions. My surgeons office has meetings WLS meetings, I'm sure you can find one in your area and bring up the topic. It is a common topic. Nothing to be scared/nervous/embarrased about.

As for resorting back to old eating habits. I'm pretty confident you will get yourself infuriated enough/sick enough to actually take a step back and look at what you are doing to yourself.

I too resorted to the coffee. I was up to 5-7 cups a day my first month into AA. Then I realized wow, my stomach is killing me. Now I am down to 0-1 if that a day.

Unfortunatly I can't share this experience with you because when I quit drinking, I lost weight, I'm 95 days sober and down 18 pounds. Everyone's system runs differently.

2nd suggestion, Go back to basics when it comes to WLS. When you see your eating getting out of control, go back to step 1.

These are very hard things to over come, we need to take it day by day....sometimes hour by hour.

I just googled Weight loss surgery, AA meetings and some things did come up. Look around see if you can find something in your area.

Good luck, and keep comin back!
Liz

Hi Diana, Welcome to early recovery.  18 years ago, I began my journey, and attended both AA and OA meetings, because of my dual addictions.  I got sober, but gained weight like crazy.  I couldn't get the hang of dealing with my negative emotions and not giving into my impulsivity.   One suggestion is to read the book, "The Anatomy of a Food Addiction."  It helps explain the addicted brain.  I also suggest you consider individual psychotherapy to help you sort out what your thinking is, and to learn and practice coping skills for dealing with negative emotions.  I have been in therapy for 18 years now, and am still learning things every time I go.  (I am a tough nut to crack.) Whatever you do, DON'T DRINK!  You can learn to find balance, and get back to healthy eating styles.  It will take work and trial and error, but it can be done. Hugs, Trish

By the time I stopped drinking I had three stomach ulcers.  I had gotten to the point where most of the time in the evenings I would throw up after eating.  I thought it was the ulcers or the alcohol + eating too fast combo once I finally got around to eating.  I was down to about 110 lbs which was really too skinny for me.  I looked like a skeleton.  So I stopped drinking, the ulcers got better and I put on about 15-20 lbs - much needed gain.  I didn't like it.  I felt out of control.  I had crazy thoughts of forcing the vomiting that I was "missing" after getting healthier.  I had thoughts of wanting to drink again cuz at least I would not get fat again.  I held off.  I stayed sober.  That gain did not continue - it's leveled out pretty well and I've been in the 133-138 lb range consistently for almost a year. Flash forward to today.  I get squirrely and sometimes as a reaction I eat.  bad stuff.  too much bad stuff.  I sometimes eat until it makes me vomit.  The vomiting makes me feel better.  It makes me feel like I just cancelled out my out-of-control behavior.  I "made it all better".  To me this is absolutely nuts.  I hate throwing up.  But the SICK part of my mind wants to do it.  When I don't eat to that point, I WISH I'd vomit.  I see these warning signs and as of yet have not induced vomiting, but I want to.  My sick mind says, "hell - this might be a slippery slope but it's better than drinking and I won't get fat again". The drinking, drugging, walking on the edge of bulemic behavior, the codependant fixations, the spending, the eating for comfort.  These are not the issue - these are SYMPTOMS of the issue.  I have a disease of perception.  I have a problem with hating a lack of control.  Being borderline OCD, I tend to use compuslive actions as a self-soothing illusion of control, when in reality they exhibit and in turn manifest the ultimate loss of control. Disease of perception.  This is hard.  damn hard.  It's like trying to corral a bunch of feral cats.  You get one cat into the pen and 3 others escape - rinse, repeat. I have not found a wls focused 12 step or other type recovery group, but I really think that these issues are more common among us than the medical community can begin to fathom.  I think I might call my surgeon and ask for some recommendations or maybe even try and see if I could get such a group started in my area.   I just want you to know you are NOT alone.  And even in spite of it, a person CAN stay sober and have a much improved quality of life in spite of the behaviors. I'll be thinking of you! Love and light, Michelle

I have transferred addictions my whole life.All sorts of things.It does happen to more people then you realize.I have been sober for almost two months and notice I am eating more sweets.I plan on joing the YMCA here in town, I did get addicted to workin' out before,was going a few hours every single day.Good thing I have a good support system now,lol.If you ever need to talk, I am here.I know what you are going through, just don't start drinking again if you know it is addictive.

Diana Hi.  I was wondering if you had any luck finding WLS AA meetings? Dorothy