It won't freakin' stop!

This obsessive thinking over a situation.  I wake up thinking about it; go to bed thinking about it; work while thinking about it.  I can't stop it!  I try changing the subject in my mind, but it comes back.  I try praying, but I get off track and it's back.   I was hurt by some people.  Okay.  So why can't I just get over it. I really do know the answer, but I don't want to do the work.  I can't FEEL.  I can talk about it, vent about it, write about it, think about it, pray about it, and react to it.  But I can't FEEL it.  I don't want to feel it.  I don't have time to feel it.  I know it's gonna feel yucky.  I might cry.  I probably need to cry.   Why is it so hard to FEEL???  And in the past, I could stuff the feelings with my food, or sex, or something else.  I have nothing to stuff it with, and trying to keep the feelings stuffed on their own is making me sick.  My thinking is sick.  My head is sick.  It's probably only a matter of time before I get physically sick. So, people, here it goes -- please pray for me today that I will feel my feelings, whatever they are.

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don't know your situation.. but here is a scenerio that was brought up in a AA meeting once.. a man leaving an AA meeting once.. was hailed down by a man who he recognized as his past drug dealer.. he was very shaken by it.. as he HATED this man.. for getting him into drugs.. which eventually led to losing his house.. job.. etc.  Well it startled him.. and he thought every imaginable thing.. like wiring and getting him busted.. hiring hit men.. etc.  Finally he decided to share this experience with his sponsor.  The sponsor told him I going to ask you to do something that you are not going to want to do.  He thought.. omg..  what??  The sponsor told him to pray for that man every night for at least 2 weeks.. even when he didn't want to, he was to say a prayer for him.  Well.. he did.. and each night he began "feeling" the prayer even tho at first he did not.  By the end of the 2 weeks he just continued.. and then one night when leaving AA he ran into him again.. and he was not bitter.. he actually felt sorry for him.  Cuz he realized that he was still living the hell that he himself is recovering from.  He no longer hated him.. he wished the other guy to find his recovery also.   I was moved by his story.. and not sure if it helps.. but offer it to you too, along with a prayer from me.

Rhonda's answeris great. It always works for me. Sometimes less time, sometimes a little more but it always works.

Feelings aren't reality and they can't kill you. They never go away until you deal with them, so better now than later.

You can do it!

 

Jill, I can probably guess what you are talking about, given our talk Saturday night.  In addition to praying for the people involved, I would encourage you to do an exercise either in writing, or out loud.  Fill in the blanks to this sentence over and over again about the situation involved. "I feel ______________________ because ______________________________." Use all the feeling words you can think of, and describe all the ways the people involved hurt you.  It is best to write it out.  Then, put the writing in a box and leave it there.  Say your prayer for the people involved, and make a conscience decision to NOT think about it.  Schedule an obsession time for 20 minutes a day, and bring out the sheet and cry and pray for the people.  Then, put the paper back in the box and NOT think about it till the next day.  Every time the thoughts pop into your mind, do a Scarlett O'Hara and say, "I will worry about that tomorrow."  Train yourself to not think about it until your scheduled time, and then take out the sheet and cry and pray and put it away till the next day.  Scheduling your worry/obsession time is healthy.  I have tried it and it has worked. Hugs, Trish