Damn everything to hell.

Today is day 82 sober. I begged and pleaded with myself yesterday for hours just for one single glass of wine. Just one. No one will ever know!!! One single glass of wine will not kill me.

Needless to say, I didn't drink that wine, instead, I gorged myself with food, got myself violently ill with the ****s, then went to bed at 7.30-8pm just so I didn't have said glass of wine.

Well look at that....Back to step one!! When I think I am on step 4, I am really back to step one. I haven't hit a meeting all week. I have no desire to go....at all.

Then I ponder this....I've been sick for the past 2 weeks, and went through a whole bottle of nyquil in like 4 days.(yes I took the recommended dosage). Doesn't nyquil have alcohol in it? *shrugs* Whatever.

With that I'll pass.


ps-check out this site....I love it, Rhonda showed it to me a while ago, but I have to visit everyday.

http://www.cleanandsobernotdead.com/

it's pretty cool....


Liz

congratz Liz..  have fun at the Haloweiner Party..  wish I was there...

In my first year of sobriety, I had a piece of rum cake.  Dumb me, I didn't know that it was pure alcohol.  I felt so smacked when my sponsor yelled at me about it.  I should have passed that cake by me.  I made a ton of meetings after that, and shared about it.  I felt stupid as H***, but I learned. Yes, Nyquil has alcohol in it.  So does most mouthwash.  So does a lot of cough syrups.  I highly recommend finding an alternative cold medicine.  Ask your doctor to recommend something alchol free.  A pharmacist can also help you. In the meantime, get your hiney to a meeting and start taking care of your emotional sobriety.  The squirrels love it when I miss meetings.  They have a field day in my mind. Hugs, Trish

Oops!  I almost forgot, Congratulations. Hugs, Trish

Hi Liz. I wouldnt beat yourself up over Nyquil. Perhaps I am of a new school thinking, But there is  a thing called intent. Now say you have to go have some operation and need to have pain meds after. This is a senerio I ran by an AA group last year. Most all of them said that if taken as perscribed, without the intent of getting buzzed, then I have broken no ethics of AA,but concidering that, being an addict,uncontroled access to pain meds can get out of control and suggested by some to let Rhonda hold them and pass them out as perscribed. Needless to say, I did take them in an addictive manner and I  think led me back to my drug of choice, The bottle. I guess what I'm saying is be very leary of any meds you take,but dont beat yourself up for taking something as directed. But as one said, look for alterinatives if you can.

 Congrads on today 83.

Hey Liz,

Nyquil has a high % of alcohol. Even a recommended dosage for an alcoholic is not recommended. Alcoholics have an allergy to alcohol. When ingested, it sets off the phenomenon of craving. To us, alcohol is alcohol. Our disease cannot tell the difference between 'well-intended' alcohol and a shot of whiskey.

This may very well be why you hate the battle with the 'one' glass of wine. I'm so glad you didn't drink it. You are probably still trying to fill the void inside of you and that's why you gorged on the food.

What did your sponsor say about this?

PS: Sorry for the delayed response but I was at the beach this weekend. Please let me know how you are doing now.

 

 

 

Your explanation of being allergic to alcohol.. and avoiding it at ANY reason is well taken.  Just like any medicine that someone may be allergic to.  The reason/intent for taking it is good.. but if our body does not react to it like a normal persons should.. then we should find an alternative! Thanks for sharing...