Messed Up.....

Was very proud of myself this am.... no wine for 6 days - (Sun-Fri). Was making a nice dinner tonight (no excuse) and thought I'd treat myself to a "glass" of chardonnay. HA! No such thing! Bought a bottle and, first sip, was already thinking about how fast it would go.... Then, my sister called, with her own crisis.... honestly, something that doesn't happen too often... I offered to come offer (she lives just 10 houses away) and brought a bottle of red and white.... and "the rest is history".... DAMN!!!!! I'd done so well all week.... stupid me, thinking I could handle this "test"... I can barely type out this message... really pissed at myself that I couldn't manage this first "challenge".... How bad is it that it's taken me 15 minutes to "peck" out this message.... shows just how much I can't handle this.... I'm very disappointed in myself... I know tomorrow am is another day, and I will start over.... but I'm just so ticked at myself.... grrrrrr I'm off to bed..... hopefully a new start tomorrow... Cheryl

Hi Cheryl, It so sucks to slip and mess up.  I have been there and done that.  It took me months to put together 90 days.  I mean, like from October to June.  I got 90 and then drank, and then got 30 and then drank, and on and on.  That was 18 years ago.  After I relapsed, I didn't care about my sobriety for a few years.   Keep this a slip and don't let it turn into a relapse.  Get back on the wagon.  Are you using support, such as AA?  The AA meetings help me so much, I could not stay sober without them.  I went to one at 6:30 a.m. today. Learn from this and remember, if you don't have the first drink, you can't get drunk.  Hugs, Trish

Dust yourself off and try again.. I have over 12 years in but everyday is a daily struggle.. Remember that you have support here..  PEACE

Cheryl,

Take it ONE DAY AT A TIME...just like the saying goes. One day, an hour, a minute. It's what I did. I knew that one was too many and 1000 would never be enough, so when I stopped, I knew I couldn't restart.  Do WHATEVER it takes to stay dry.  For the first 2 yrs. of my sobriety, I refused wedding invitations, going to restaurants with a bar, etc.  I made a committment to myself and family to stay away from booze.

In fact, my g/'f called and asked if I could do her a favor and stop at a liquor store and get her a bottle of wine on my way over. I said "I'm sorry, but I've not gone into a packie for 21 yrs. I can't start now...." She understood. THAT is a real friend...Be a friend to yourself now...and don't beat yourself up for being human. But get back on track. Get to a meeting if that's your lifeline. 

Hugs to you, Marie

I agree with the others.  Pick yourself up.. and carry on.  Don't beat yourself up.. we are human.. and it will just cause poor self-esteem that may lead to further bad behavors.  Get to a meeting.. call support people...  And thanks for sharing