Late Night Musings From the Cuckoo's Nest

Hey everybody!  *waves* Nah, I didn't fall off the earth.  I've just been hella busy.  I have several things on my mind, so I'm going to try to fit them all into one post. 1. First "fight" With New Boyfriend - boy oh boy are these things surreal in sobriety!  BF is upset because I still chat online with the ex (the long term dude who turned into basically a "friend with benefits" - but we stopped that about a year ago).  I thought I had done the right thing by being open with him regarding these communications, but I think it all go to be too much.  He picked a fight with me tonight over it. LOL - well I guess that's what you could call it.  He went on and on for a while and I finally said, "Look - I love you.  I have no problem with never communicating with this dude again.  Period.  I had a lapse in judgement by thinking I could be his friend.  It was not thoughtful to you.  I apologize"  hahaha this came out of me after I typed some old-school Michelle **** that wasn't nearly as kind and supportive but chose to delete it and approach the situation from MY responsibility in it.  Back and forth a couple of hours - ending with I love you's and My feelings for you make me inscure and me too's etc.  The healthiest "fight" I've ever been in with a man.  Weird!  See there!  That dammed ole "personal inventory and taking responsibility for my actions" - program got me!  Thank God!  I've even pushed out the "he seems irrational - is he drinking?" thoughts.  PROGRESS! 2. Son is back Home - Well I picked up mr Angry Young Man today.  First off he had an attitude and eventually came out with it - he was mad because I did not come visit him on his Birthday.  Well - I had to remind him that he'd explicitly told me NOT TO COME VISIT him and never changed that request.  I just gave him what he asked for (space) even though it hurt me.  He cooled off after that.  He asked me to take him to see the Army recruiter.  I did.  They talked.  He needs to get the GED taken and then will go back and talk to the recruiter again.  His idea.  Awesome.  I'm keeping my mouth shut :-)   He is basically on house arrest, and the tracking people came by today to get him going.  Basically they pop in at work/school/home 5 times every day/night to make sure he's where he's supposed to be.  That's good - but what about those loser buddies of his comign here?  oh well first things first :) 3. Preparing for Beach Trip - So the bf and I leave Wed night to go to Sanibel Island, FL.  I bought myself a new 160 gb ipod for a sobriety birthday present so I've been spendign the week cataloging, tagging and putting my music collection onto it.  I've got about 40 gb used up so far LOL  I've become hella OCD with it!  I'm really looking forward to this trip. 4.  CONGRATS to all our day counters!  You guys really do help me stay sober!  You help me REMEMBER!  I love you all!!! Oh well - it's after 1 am and I'm physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted.  Fair fights are still exhausting! Love and light, Michelle

Hi Michelle,

Great post! Don't forget to Keep It Simple!

Peace and blessings,

Karen

Hi Michelle, I have also been busy, and sick too.  Upper respiratory junk with asthma and sinus infection included.  My body is just exhausted.  I took today off from my weekend job, to get some R&R.  Sounds like you handled the boyfriend situation beautifully.  Taking responsibility is so hard at times, but so rewarding when we do it.  Your son sounds so much like my son did back in the day.  I hope and pray he gets this out of his system and settles down to a healthy, adult life, whatever that looks like. Have fun with the new iPod.  My kids got me one that shows TV shows when I download them. Hugs, Trish