No meeting--

I didnt get to a meeting (would be first ever) last night, I forgot it was parent's night at my daughter's confirmation....but here I am at day four and have some issues going 'round my head.  I hope I am told that these are somewhat "normal", albeit I know they are not true/healthy-- I find my self (in my thoughts only) going back and forth placing blame on others.  A little back story...I did not drin****il after my surgery.  Of course I had my fun times back in college (I am 40) but nothing that was considered troublesome by any means.  But I realize now how I used food to handle stress and stressful times.  When that was taken from me (food the way I knew it) via WLS, I found out quite by accident after having 1 glass of wine that, hey this is great and stress is gone and it didnt make me sick.  So I find myself having thoughts of  "Its the surgery's fault"  (of course I know this isnt the case) because I was so together before...(albeit overweight) family, work, friends, financially, kids etc had a great existence REALLY.  I mean hey, I thought how great it is to be me, just think how great it would be to have all I have and be thin, too!   I didnt count on the bonus--handling strss with alcohol  Which (drinking) of course brings in a WHOLE NEW crop of trouble, doesnt it. Then  I find myself blaming my husband and kids....if they didnt cause me stress, I wouldnt need to drink!  I know how f****** up is that!?  I do take full responsibility for my life and actions, but maybe thats why I want to place blame, I feel terrible knowing I did this to myself.  *sigh* ANy who- day 4 is here and I'm up for the challenge.  LORI

Congrats Date Sister on Day 4, I'm still hanging in there as well.

As I am in the preop stage I can't address many of your points but I can tell you that blaming others and having a short fuse are some definite symptoms of my addiction.  I can normally let things slide without bothering me much but lately trying to consciously lengthen my fuse is one of the major things I am working on.

Check out the book "The Anatomy of a Food Addiction."  It explains the brain chemistry of addiction in general, whether it is food, alcohol, or drugs.  It is a brain chemistry issue that creates our addictions.  I never learned how to cope with life, and learned as a child that food could comfort me, and then later as a teenager, I learned that alcohol and drugs could also help with that.  I also used shopping and sex.   I could blame my parents for not teaching me coping skills, but they never learned them from their parents either.  When I was married, I blamed my husband and kids, but they have been out of my life for 6 years now.  I do have a healthy relationship with my kids now, but I miss them terribly.   We have to play the hand we are dealt.  In AA,  learned how to live life on life's terms and not blame, but to take responsibility for my addictions and recovery.   Hugs, trish