someone kick my ass..

I need someone to yell at me.. or get me in the right frame of mind... hold me responsible. I have two ladies phone numbers to call about possible sponsorship.. and have not done it..  have not called either... I know I'm helping them.. by helping myself.. but I don't call.. is it pride.. or just scared of what to say.. I don't know why.. no excuses.. I want to say I was too busy.. but that's a lie.. I could of made time.. like right now I could be calling one of them..  what am I scared of???  okay.. *getting up from work puter to get the one ladies number from my purse* ..  I'll post again after I call..

okay.. I called one lady Dianne whom I asked to perhaps sponsor me.. or get to know me.  I left a message on her recorder apologizing for being scared to call.. and told her I would call her this evening.. plus left her my number incase. the other lady Jackie.. said she is home during the day.. I picked up the phone to dial her.. and haven't.. I hung up twice..  I think I'm kinda afraid of hurting one or the other's feelings by not knowing which one to have sponsor me..  or at least that's what I'm telling myself..

I guess my post made me responsible.. I kick myself in the butt.. and called both.. left the message with Dianne.. and then called and spoke to Jackie.  She is sooo nice and made me feel very comfortable.. I'll probably meet up with her after work for a 7 meeting Life Is Good.. thanks for letting me post this.. if I hadn't.. I probably would not have called..

Congratulations on having the strength to follow through with your plan.  I am currently lacking but definitely respect it in others.

Keep coming back.. you will eventually find what you NEED.. keep an open mind.. heart.. and listen, but most of all keep coming back..   sometimes.. something just clicks or a spritiual awakening happens to allow you to see that you no longer wish to live the life that you were.. while it was fun.. and what you wanted at one time.. it becomes no longer fun, but is chaotic.. and just simply too tiring.  At least for ME.. it is.  Also.. when I really took a good look at another who was drunk.. I saw what I myself must look like and realized that it isn't pretty.  I didn't want to look like that anymore..  I told Jackie.. I can *right now* not drink.. but I want to follow the AA steps.. and lifestyle so I can grow spiritually as well as to just not drink.  And who knows.. maybe tomorrow I will want to drink.  Why risk that... Learning to live the 12 simple steps to live sober.. .. is worth the PROMISES. hugs with LOVE

Rhonda,

Good on you for calling. That's a huge step! It will get easier each time. Trust me, there are MANY of us out here that have had the same problem.  We don't like to ask for help or 'bother' anyone. But is will get easier. Just stay willing and you'll do fine.

Karen

 look at YOU pretty lady..  it's nice to see your smiling face!!   I didn't realize it was YOU until I saw that you were a friend of Bills Thanks for the advice and encouragement..

Rhonda, I am so proud of you for following through.  Believe me, your uncertainty and your hemming and hawing is so normal.  I did it many times in the beginning.   Now, follow through with meeting with her and get to working on the steps.  That is where the recovery is. Hugs, Trish

Thanks Trish..  I did pretty good tonight.. I went to the meeting and met Jackie and we talked for about 20 minutes before the meeting started.  I gave her some background on my drinking and she gave me hers.  She really is easy to talk too.. and we live fairly close to one another.. and she is only 2 years older than myself.. and has been Sober for little over 2 years... and she's home during the day, so easy to reach by phone..  can you tell I'm trying to find good reasons why she may be a good sponsor for ME..    where as Dianne may be totally awesome.. but I have just not gotten the opportunity to connect with  her.  When I got home I called her about 8:20ish.. and no answer so left another message.  I realize she may be at a meeting herself.. but just thinking that I have already began a connection with Jackie so it may be best to ask her to sponsor me and (as you say) start working on those steps. Also I called my mom again tonight.. I have neglected her this past month.. and I hurt her by doing so.  So I called and we talked.. and then I asked if her and my dad would like to go to the Funny Bone Comedy Club with Dan and I this Friday at 8.  I won free tickets.  I know dad doesn't like to drive in the dark now..  and Dan suggested that if they would like to go we would pick them up and drop them off after the show.   She actually sounded thrilled about going and that warmed my heart hugss and love you, Rhonda

The only requirement for sponsorship is having more sobriety than you, and having completed the steps.  The more time a person has does not necessarily mean they would always be a good sponsor for you. Also, remember, it is not engraved in stone.  You can always find someone new later, if it does not work out. Hugs, trish