New and seeking others....

Hello, I am new to posting in this forum and haven't been to OH in years. I had my surgery 9-22-03. I'm only 3 days away from 4 years. However, I've had this raging issue with alcohol. I never wanted to drink again after my surgery, after all I had the surgery to get my health back in order, but I got lost somewhere along the way. Alcohol became my new addiction. I had to have it. I would binge drink and be totally passed out. I became more depressed and that led to more drinking. I never had this kind of behavior before and then my mom started finding things about gastric bypass and alcoholism. Anyway, my family says the surgery ruined my life. But that's not true, the drinking and alcohol are what caused me to plunge straight down into a place I never thought I'd ever be. Reading some of the posts on here made me realize I wasn't the only one who  is going through this. My therapist was going to put me in inpatient rehab, but both my husband and I refused because we didn't think it was necessary. I finally after 2 years of being out of control, opened my mind and started attending AA meetings last week. I've been to 3, but I'm not religious so please don't tell me to find Jesus.  guess I just want to know what other people are doing. I am sober 12 days. I can't believe that I turned into an alcoholic, I never drank that way before. I'll be willing to share my whole story with anyone else that's interested and I am interested in hearing other's as well.  I don't know how I became dependent upon such a substance and now, I'm facing another major life change. I am little scared because I don't want to let my family down....Thanks for you help. PghMom

Hi PhgMom,

I'm Karen. I had by surgery in January but have been in recovery for alcoholism since 2000. As you know well by now, WLS and transfer addiction are extremely common. Rather it be alcohol, drugs, sex, shopping, gambling, exercise or any other addiction. The primary reason is because if you have an addictive mind and haven't learn healthy ways to moderate, you eventually pick up something else to occupy your mind instead of resolving the real issue (whatever that may be). All alcoholics have addictive thinking but not all people with addictive thinking are alcoholics. None of us really know when we became addicted. It's like an invisible line that's crossed. But it has been proven over and over again that once the line is crossed, you can never return to 'safe' or 'normal' drinking again. Once you are an alcoholic and put alcohol into your body, two things physically happen in your body: 1) You set off an uncontrollable craving for more...which is why not picking up the first drink is so important and 2) You mind loses the ability to make rational decisions. This is not a theory. It's proven facts by the Amer. Med. Assoc.

I am neither for or again in/out patient treatment for alcoholism. I personally didn't go but know many people who got off to a great start to sobriety. Treatment centers allow you a safe place to detox your mind and body. They also offer a lot of education on the disease.

I am a strong advocate of AA because it is what has kept me sober for almost 7 years despite losing custody of my kids, being throw out of my home and a 15 yrs marriage,  becoming homeless, my family & friends all turning their backs on me, getting fired from a long-term job as a manager and deaths of family members and very close friends. ALL this happened AFTER I got sober.

AA is so much more than not drinking . While I understand your fears about another major life change, AA is nothing to be afraid of. No one will force you to do anything. All its members do is offer you suggestions based on their experience with what worked and what didn't. AA  doesn't promise you a wonderful, fairy-tale life but I promise you, I have never seen a person that has stayed around AA and worked through all the steps with a sponsor decide drinking was a better way to live. There are people that leave AA, most drink and it leads them to one of three places: Death, hospital or jail. Some don't drink and find other ways to stay sober.

You certainly don't have to find Jesus. AA is a world-wide group and does not promote any form of religion. It is a spiritual program. Granted, you will hear lots of people talk about God because christanity is the most prevelant religion here but there are agnostics, atheists and every form of religion represented in AA. It's your choice what to believe but it will be suggested to you to find a source of power greater than yourself to help keep you sober. Many people start out with the AA group as it's higher power because they have stayed sober longer and can show you the way, too.

I know how scary change is but when you are in a situation like you are in now, change can be a very wonderful experience. It was for me and countless others.

Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help.

Karen

 

 

Hi there and welcome.  I am Trish and I live on the other side of our great Commonwealth.  I have a son who lives in Swissvale and is attending Pitt/Greensburg.  I love the city of Pittsburgh and wish I could visit it more often.   I have been in 12 Step recovery for my alcoholism and eating disorders for 18 years now.  I had over 8 years of sobriety, in AA, but stopped attending meetings and relapsed toward the end of my marriage.  My new sobriety date is September 25, 2001.   AA is a spiritual program, NOT a religious program.  There is a huge difference between religion and spirituality.  Personally, I am a Christian, but I do not consider that my religion.  Instead, I have a personal relationship with God because of Christ.  Spirituality is about your relationship with your Higher Power, who, or whatever, you choose to believe in.  AA is about deepening that relationship so that you find the strength to get and stay sober, and make the internal changes needed to achieve your fullest potential as a person.  Each of the 12 Steps addresses changing your thinking and behavior inside and out. My best suggestion is to keep an open mind, listen for the similarities you have with people when they share, and get phone numbers of women so that you can get to know some of them, and call them when you get the urge to drink.  Alcoholism, as with all addictions, are diseases of isolation.  I drank alone, ate alone, and found that the programs of AA and OA are designed to break us out of that isolation, and give us a sense of belonging in society again. Sorry for the long post.  I am on a roll tonight for some strange reason. Hugs, Trish

Hi and welcome! I suggest you go back through the board over the past month or so, and you'll find several of our stories posted for your perusal. Sunday is my first year anniversary of sobriety.  I have a life long history of addictive behavior - food, marijuana, and once I had GBS, I converted to alcohol. I've been involved in AA for the past year and all I can say is that it's saved my a$$.  Sure I could have maybe stopped drinking without it, but I would have just channeled my addictive personality into something else self-destructive. I'm *NOT* an especially religious person.  I'm one of the people in our AA group that gets a few eyes rolling when I share about spirituality.  I guess you could call me a bit "new age" in my views.  I **DO** believe in a power greater than myself however - call it the universe, or the collective consciousness etc.  I belive we all (alive and deceased) are "God" - dispersed over the universe.  I know many AA's who are agnostic or even athiest.  They use the group as the power greater than themselves and it seems to work for them. None of us ever dreamed we'd end up in a 12 step program, tail between our legs and asking for help.  But - if you keep coming back, get a sponsor and give those steps a shot, I can promise you that you will find it to be the biggest blessing you've gotten.  You don't have to live in the spiral of depression and addiction.  You *can* be free.  You just have to be willing and put in the foot work. Again, welcome and I look forward to hearing more from you! Love, Michelle