sponsorship

tonight I went to Falmouth for an 8 o'clock meeting..  the topic was.. "helping others.."   a lady whom I first noticed last week.. whom dates a guy that I really like (he use to drive the van for the inpatient rehab group when Dan was inpatient)  and I wanted to talk to her last week after the meeting but was too skeered not sure why.. but I just feel backwards/awkwards so often at the meetings... Anywho.. last week I talked to Dan.. and said that I was considering her as a sponsor.. not sure how long her sobriety is tho.  But she dates a guy we both like.. so I figure if we like him.. he must have good taste in women so she may be a good choice.. and they are both a couple working the Program together..  and I'm with Dan and he and I want to work the Program together.  Anywhoooo... she was there this evening.. At the Falmouth meetings they have ticket nite.. The lady whom I was thinking of asking to be my sponsor talked.. and Dan and I picked up on the fact that she said something to the effect of being sober for years.. And then a few tickets later..they called mineafter mumbling around.. about me wanting to help others.. and I have 10 months.. I made it known that I have no sponsor nor have I worked the steps.. and that I am searching for a sponsor.  And altho I want to help others.. I am trying to help myself.. and passed.  I think I said it all in one breathe Well after the meeting a sweet girl came up and invited me to attend tomorrow nites meeting with her and some friends.  Last week she gave me the number of a lady that she thought I should call about a sponsor.  I told her that I would but that I was thinking of asking this other lady to be my sponsor.  She told me to DO IT..!!   So... I went up to her.. and basically said... I don't know you too well.. and she me, but would she want to maybe sponsor me or get to know me.  We talked for just  a few minutes.. she gave me her number and told me to call her.  We will talk and get to know each other.. and she made mention that she herself.. when she first got sobriety.. kept coming to the meetings for 7 months before she got a sponsor.  She concurred that finding a woman with good sobriety is difficult..  Sooo... I did it.. I took a step forward.  Now I have to take advantage of the number and pursue getting to know her better.. also I think I will go to the meeting tomorrow nite at 8 and meet these other ladies. That's it.. just wanted to share what happened as I think it's a step in the right direction.. hugs with much LOVE Rhonda

I am sooooooooooo proud of you.   I know how scary that is for you, as I remember well how hard it was to ask my first, second and third sponsors.  Remember that I had a sponsor drop me for seeing a psychiatrist and going on meds. You deserve a big pat on the back for this.  Once you start calling her regularly, it will be easier.  Just be your wonderful self and let her know the Rhonda we all know and love.  Be open, honest and willing to do what she suggests.   Super Hugs, Trish

oh, sweetie...i am so proud of you! i know that was a huge step, and i am so very happy that you took it!! yay!! jamie

Way to go!!! I'm happy for you. Now she'll be expected that call and the opportunity to do some service work herself, so don't let her down by not calling.

I hope you'll go to the meeting with the other ladies, too. One can never have too many sober friends.

Keep on stepping!

Karen

Hi Karen..  I went to the meeting and met the other ladies too.. and actually liked Jackie (the one that Lisa wanted me to call to sponsor me the week before).  We just talked briefly, but I felt pretty comfortable talking with her.. so now I'm confused.  I have both ladies numbers.. and each know I'm looking.. altho I kinda asked last nights lady... and while she gave me her number and told me to call her so we can get to know each other.. she never really said yes.  Soo.. should I just call and get to know both.. and go with the one I'm most comfortable with *shrugging shoulders* boy this is really difficult..  thanks for some (older than me in sobriety) advice.. Rhonda

You poor thing. First no sponsor, then two! When faced with indecision, I always try to pray about it. If it doesn't become clear, I either do nothing or try to keep it simple. I would suggest going with the one you are most comfortable with. The reason why is because whichever one you don't chose will understand. If they have enough sobriety to sponsor, they will just be thrilled  you have one. Another reason is asking someone to sponsor you is not asking for a lifetime committment. Remember, we try to live one day at a time. It will be ideal for you to get a sponsor that works out great for a long time but sometimes things do happen (life!) and it is always ok to change sponsors if you aren't getting what you need to stay sober. Her job is to take you through the steps the way her sponsor did for her. It helps keep you sober AND helps her stay sober. Everything else is gravy!

Your willingness to ask someone and to take suggestions is HUGE!!! Good for you. Once you decide, you can ask the new sponsor to help you tell the other one to know what to say.

You're doing great. Keep it up and keep helping others by asking for help. One day, all this will make perfect sense. I promise!

Karen

I agree with Karen - you coboyed up and asked somedbody - that's the important thing. The rest will unfold as it should - use those numbers!  :-) I'm finding in the past year, that the universe puts people in my path for reasons - so this might just be a double blessing! Oh and one more thing - my sponsor reminds me constantly, that I am helping *HER* stay sober, so I should never feel needy or like a burden - in fact, she should be grateful to me.  God I love this woman!   love and light, Michelle