My Son is Safe

My son is safe.  In custody of DJJ.  And he actually called me while going through intake last night. He has a detention hearing this morning to determine his short term fate. I am so grateful he is ok. And I am grateful that his father actually was a man and stepped up to the parenting plate yesterday.  His dad called me on Sat to let me know that Brian had contacted him and to find out what was going on.  Bri showed up at his house yesteday evening dirty and hungry and tired of hiding out in the woods.  His dad (a multiple winner in the penal system) had a long talk with him and convinced him to turn himself in to the police and face the situation now instead of later (he turns 17 in just over a week and apparently that has an effect on his sentencing).  I'm not exactly sure what was said, but Bri agreed and his dad took him down to the police station where he peacefully surrendered. He himself called me about an hour later.  On the phone, he still seemed to think that I just wanted to get rid of him and ruin his life by "getting him in trouble", but he was tired, scared and misses me - I could tell that from his pain.  He told me that no matter what happens, he realizes that he won't be coming home to live with me after all this.  I sadly agreed.  He wanted to know if I would be there for him at the hearing today.  I told him that yes of course I would, but I would not lie or sugar coat the situation when asked direct questions by the court or other authorities. I told him that he might not believe it now, but everything I've done in the name of "tough love" over the last couple of years, I've done through an ocean of pain and discomfort.  I told him that I respected his right to make his own choices, but he had to accept that the consequences of the choices he'd made would include my actions because I loved him and would not just give up on him and it was important that he understand certain behaviors are simply NOT going to be tolerated in my house.  period.  Our conversation was mostly him lashing out at me but had an undertone of wanting to get some reassurance from me too.  Time to grow up.  Damn I know that's hard. So - 3 hours of sleep.  Hearing today.  God has this under control - I have to stay out of the way and watch the outcome.  My sobriety birthday is in one week.  I **THANK GOD** that I've gotten through the mess with him over the last year without drinking or using.  I've kept my own side of the street clean and have done the RIGHT thing by him even though it was the hardest thing.  I do not feel as though I owe any amends for my choices, and that is huge.  I am however deeply sad, although accepting of what is to come. Gathering angels to comfort him and bring peace and clarity to us all in the court room this morning. Love and light, A very sleepy Michelle

My heart and prayers are with you today.  You are such an amazingly strong woman.  I admire you.  Thank you for sharing your posts with us 'lurkers'.  deb 

Michelle,

I know it's tough to do but the rewards are great when we are able to step up  and do the right thing despite how horrible it feels emotionally. While you son may have far to go, you are showing him the better path to take.

One week shy of one whole year??? That is so incredibly wonderful and awesome. I believe if you continue to stay in the day and close to God, life as you know if will become better that you could ever have imagined. Not the times won't get bad but that you will be able to get  through them with much more peace and a lot less pain.

It is a joy to me to see you recovering from 'seemingly hopeless way of life'.

Karen

 

I just lit a candle for you and your family. Hang in there. DarDar

Michelle, I am so incredibly proud of you!! A YEAR!!!  That is so huge!! I know your in pain over what you had to do or *not* do for your son, and I can relate in a way.  Many years ago my niece passed away after a fairly long fight, and I figured if THAT didn't make me drink nothing would.  In time, this is how you'll feel about life events, I'm sure. You are a courageous, strong woman of substance and you can get through this! Keep the faith, Marie Please let us know how Brian fared at court.  P.S. I'm sure with your state as in mine, if a child is tried as a juvenile, the courts are more lenient and once he turns 18, the files dont' carry to a permanent record. If he waited until 17, he'd be tried as an adult and since his dad has some knowledge of the penal system, I"m sure he wanted to spare him adult prison, not to mention a record for life. 

Hey there, How did it go today?  I am so proud of you for not drinking over this.  My first year was very similar with my son.  He got arrested on the first week of September 2002. I am so proud of you for being almost a year.  Congratulations.  What is your anniversary?  Mine is September 25, 2001.  I am coming up on six years.  Super Hugs, Trish

It went ok I suppose - they chose to detain him until the trail date on 9/27.  Meanwhile they are trying to find a 12 month residential treatment program for him. Happy upcoming bday to you too!!!  Mine is 9/23 love you! m

like the others before me.. I'm very proud of you and the path you took..  you, your son and loved ones will be in my prayers.  hugss, Rhonda

I know that in Texas - once a child turns 17 - they enter the adult criminal justice system - it maybe the same in Georgia. Do not allow this patch of hard times to rob you of your sobriety. And remember - that many of your son's actions were due to choices you made in the PAST - keep making positive choices now and he will learn to do the same. Anne

in GA, he still gets juvenile reprocussions for his actions up to this date, but any future infractions will result in adult charges and adult penalties. The judge made him aware of this - let's hope it sinks in. To address your reminder: my sponsor keeps tellign me one of my most important amends is the "Living Amends" I make to my kids with each day of sobriety.  I will Not DRINK over this situation - that I can promise myself, but the keeping emotional sobriety is even more important for all the kids.  Thank you for helping to remind me of that. hugs, Michelle