rollcall..

just wanting to say Hi to everyone.. and see if anyone has a burning desire*..  *burning desires - were only things that needed to be aired out in a hurry to help that particular person through whatever difficult time they were facing. Hugsss and hope everyone is doing well.. I've gone to meetings.. been to a few of my 5:30 meetings..  I was going to talk last night there, but didn't.  I still need to find a sponsor.. and a home. I don't like being homeless... I'm 9 months out.. and doing well.. but feel as if I'm not growing.  I think I should make my home at a place where I will go most often.. but I still like the people at the "other" place better... so I do nothing. I thought of alcohol over the holiday weekend.. I thought of those who were partying locally and watching awesome WEBN fireworks along the Ohio River.. I kinda longed to be able to do that again..  wishing I could grasp that time of partying and having fun.. but the reality of it makes me think that it was just last year Labor Day that Dan and I were at my friends house.. I was drinking and they were going down good..  by the time the fireworks were going off.. I was in a semi-blackout.. fighting with Dan.. and walking the streets of downtown trying to find my way back to my friends house where I'm pretty sure I made an ass out of myself.  So in hindsight.. altho I got to drink and party.. I don't remember the fireworks so well.. and didn't even have a good time.  So... all it takes is a reality check and I'm good...  hugs and love, Rhonda

Hi Rhonda, I did not have a burning desire to drink, but I am HALT and vulnerable right now. Over the weekend, I was at my son's awesome wedding.  I shared the photoshow on an earlier blog.  One of the things I did not share was that there was alcohol at the reception.  It was not a fully stocked bar, but there was wine and beer provided.  My son made sure that there would be certain wine served and certain beer.  Nothing hard was offered.  For the toast, there were bottles of sparkling cider provided at each table, as the bride is from a conservative Christian church, who frown on alcoholic beverages altogether. Well, my son, Sean, the single one, his girlfriend has a drinking problem, and she got smashed.  It was not really evident until it came time to go home.  At the end of the reception, I asked Sean how much he had to drink that night.  He said, "Not much, just four drinks."  I asked if he would mind having my sister drive him and Jen back to the hotel, so as not to risk a DUI.  He agreed to the designated driver.  Well, Jen passed out in the back seat of the car, and I drove my rental ahead of them.   When we got to the hotel, she could not walk a straight line, much less find the door to the hotel.  She kept yelling that she didn't want to be judged by us for her getting drunk.  I followed her up the stairs and just said, "Nobody is judging you, just go to bed and sleep it off."  The next morning, she was puking and had a killer headache.  Oh, those were the days.  I should have thanked her for keeping it green for me. My son has been to AA meetings, as well as NA meetings.  He knows the 12 step drill, having been to two inpatient rehabs and one outpatient rehab.  He claims he does not have a drinking problem, but is insistent that Jen stop drinking the way she does.   Sorry to babble.  Just had to let you know what was renting space in my head tonight. Hugs, Trish

Rhonda,

I've been where you are.....no sponsor and homeless with a few months of sobriety. That's a very slippery place to be in.

Please get a sponsor. If you can't find one, pray for God to send you one. If you don't want one, pray for the willingness to get one anyway.

Sometimes I have no idea how much I need help until after I've gotten it.

Karen 

New to the board, recovering alcoholic, 8 years sober.