Switching Addictions

I haven't been online in a very long time and that is probably one of the problems.  I don't share easily.  I am asking for people's experiences (if any) on switching addictions.  I am, Goodness, 5 years out and I found myself being able to drink liquor (vodka) about 3 years ago.  I am now very worried about my consumption.  I got past my doctor's goal but never got to my personal goal and in the last 2 months have seen my weight creep up.  I told myself to just give up the liquor and try to remember what I did to get here in the first place and y'all I am hitting a brick wall.  I go without drinking for a few days and then something happens (it doesn't have to be major and boredom has become the enemy) and I am doing it again.  It would be one thing if I had one and stopped but something triggers and I am bingeing like I used to on food.  I need help and suggestions please.

I could copy and paste my story.. but you may find ALOT of helpful stories in the post from 2 days ago titled.. I NEED HELP..  please read my reply to that post.    In my stage of the disease of alcoholism.. I was able to still say I will or will not drink tonite.  When I didn't it was fine.. when I did.. it was until I got drunk.. then blacked out... and then passed out. I've learned that it's a stage of the disease.. it progresses.  If left untreated.. I'm sure it would progress to the point where I would not have a choice to drink or not drink.. I would NEED it.  And I would suffer many ill effects from it...  the surgery we had does not help the progression of the disease but I believe assists in the progression of it.  *my opinion*..  if you are ready.. I would recommend trying an AA meeting.. it works!!  Please keep coming back here too..   hugsss, Rhonda

Le's see...when I stopped drinking 21 years ago, I smoked a LOt MORE...up to 3.5 packs a day. When I couldn't breathe anymore, I gave myself permission to eat. When that became a problem (still is) I started shopping, then baking...then shopping again...and then exercise.  I had 2 heart attacks and had to ease up on the exercise and with all the meds from that and my diabetes I've gained 30 on top of where I was post MI's.  We know all about addiction transfer here. We found a way to replace one thing with another Dr. Feelgood.  My question to you is: "How bad do you WANT to stop drinking??"  I would suggest you find a meeting and get a sponsor.  It could be the most powerful constant in your life.  Marie

 I have to admit, I have tried abstinence meetings.  I attended OA for a while about 6 or 7 years before I went through my WLS.  I never drank prior to 2002; heck I worked as a bartender and I could never understand why people got drunk.  I didn't even drink for 2 years after WLS because I dumped so badly.  Then one day the dumping stopped, I could eat what I wanted, drink what I wanted and there seemed to be no consequence.  The pouch kept me from comsumming calories with food but I still had alcohol and it hit my system so quickly that I was a cheap drunk.  Well my body got used to that too....I say all of this to say honestly I don't know if I want to give it up.  My greatest wish would be to become a sporadic and controlled drinker but knowing how I am with food; I honestly don't think that is possible.  I thank y'all for your replies and sincerely would love to read more.  I went back and read the posts from the other day and I am so sorry for the tragdies and what it took to be a wake up call.  I do plan on going to an OA meeting where I live now.  Lonliness and a sense of being unattractive have spurred on my latest drinking (I have moved and changed jobs) so I know I need a connection not only to God but to people too.  I want to give abstinence a chance and hope to learn something I haven't in my 30 some-odd years, control.  I know this isn't the answer I was supposed to give and please forgive me for it.  I am sitting here in tears because I have discovered a new weakness and for a Type B+ (I refuse to think of myself as an A) personality not being in control and responsible is difficult.  I hope I can continue to be on this site and learn from all of you truly brave and wonderful human beings.  I am  just being honest and maybe a little hardheaded.

I know this isn't the answer I was supposed to give and please forgive me for it. There is nothing to forgive.  That WAS the answer you were supposed to give - an honest one!  I've run the gamut myself - food, pot, alcohol, shopping, cleaning, PEOPLE (that one is eating my lunch today), etc. This Type B++ personality (wink) has no peace until she lets the universe unfold as it should and gets the hell out of the way.  It goes against my very nature, but when I do, I always end up saying "ohhh so THAT was SUPPOSED to go down like that!" in the end.  I don't do it nearly enough however, but I'm learning :) I relate to so much of what you shared.  The best advice I can give is to keep seeking, and to try and do something to help others in any capacity - volunteer, call people to see how they are, make friends in the church, community, social clubs etc and reach out to them to BE a friend.  It's amazing how well this gets me out of myself and helps me get off the hamster wheel for a while. Sending love and light - email me anytime if you just want to chat! hugs, Michelle

:) You were honest! :) That's the right answer.  I used this link (for mass.) http://www.aaboston.org/ to find meetings. I found a meeting I felt comfy in that's women only.  I'm not trying to push, but check out the site when you have time. If you don't go to meetings there's a lot of good info behind that front page! :)   Addictdion is about control, not the drug itself. We feel our lives spinning out of orbit and we do the ONE thing we feel we have power over at the time. We feed the addiction the more we feel powerless over other things...at some point, like with booze and drugs, we NEED it to get through the day.  Step 1 is Surrendering to your Higher Power that your addiction has made your life unmanageable.  You might want to see an addictions counsellor as well. Just to get a handle on things.  It seems like a lot to throw at you, but You ARE in control....so take it or leave it...it's up to you. :)  In the meantime, please keep posting! :) The more the merrier!! Hugs, Marie

I hope you please do keep coming back..  many are not ready to quit yet.. or many just do not know that they are powerless over alcohol.  I was there.. I thought I had a problem.. wondered if I should go to AA.. but who wants to go to some damp.. dark.. basement where some lights are burned out.. and men sit in trench coats sippin their coffee.. or have their brown paper bag of drink. LOL..  I didn't.. I wasn't one of them.. so I continued.. "controlling my drinking" by switching to beer only if at a family party.. cuz I don't want to make an ass out of myself infront of his family *who's drinking*.  Or.. only drink on the weekend at home.. or okay we can drink this Thursday cuz Friday I get off work early.. I can suffer thru just a few hours..  but finally.. something happened.. an awakening of sorts.  I was ready to admit I am powerless of alcohol.  It will always win.. it's cunning, baffling and powerful!!  So I went to AA.. and LOVED it.. the rooms are bright and warm.. and so are the people.  I love the hugs.. friendly handshakes and smiles.. and the stories.  I love hearing their story.. I want to hug each one and tell them that it's okay.. and that I'm soooo proud of them and that I want what they have.. so I keep going back!! so yes please do.. KEEP COMING BACK

When I first started attending AA, I weighed 190.  That was in 1989.  I had a relapse for a few years, and continued my sobriety in 2001.  Last year, when I had my WLS I weighed 305.  Since my divorce, and getting sober in 2001, I wracked up $60,000 in credit card debt.   Addictions are rarely about the substance.  They are about our thinking about what life is doing to us, and our inability to cope with life on life's terms.  That is why AA has the 12 steps.  The steps offer a specific, spiritual guide to changing the way we think, and attending meetings gives us the opportunity to learn coping skills for those times when we have the urge to drink.   Good luck finding your solution.  I suggest you check out AA meetings.  They have schedules online.   Hugs, Trish

You all are so great that I feel like hugging each and everyone of you.  Today is difficult for me because if is the anniversary of Katrina and although I did not have to suffer by being there; my family was still there (I was born and raised in New Orleans).  I keep thinking of the panic I felt b/c I could not get in touch with them and my sister is a dialysis patient I kept having horrible thoughts about that...but anyway I come to this place and you all center me.  I am not the only person in the world and it doesn't revolve around me (today ).  There are so many people going through and suffering, that my problems don't seem that great.  My parents for instance had to live with their little girl for 2 yrs (me), and boy is she difficult.  I think that for now I will take it one step at a time.  Try to surrender as suggested.  I realize the problems with being a control artist (refuse to say "freak") and not having any for the past two years may have taken their toll.  Not that I am a victim, you understand, but maybe I, with support, counseling and first and foremost God in my corner, may be able to see the light.  Thank you all.   Is it weird that what made me think I had a problem was that my weight was creeping up?  I am not sure but there may be a message in their somewhere. Keep your heads up!

Shay I was the one who posted the "I Need Help" a few days ago.  I feel exactly as you do, and am 4 days w/o a drink now, hoping and wondering if and how long it will last.  I feel like Jeckyll and Hyde.  Dr Jeckyll wakes up hung over in the mornings going, "Why are you doing this?  You KNOW you can't keep doing this.  You KNOW you shouldn't be doing this."  The by the afternoon I feel better and Mr Hyde comes out and starts whispering in my ear, "You are okay now, see?  You always feel better later.  It's okay.  Drink tonight.  You can stop later.  Right now, you have this party to go to, or that to do... or is has been a bad day."  All kinds of reasons to excuse it....  I want to say I will keep it up, but it seems from minute to minute, I just don't know.  Jeckyll and Hyde are making me crazy talking all at once right now. Sandy