*****

Why am I such a nasty evil ***** My husband is nothing but nice, supportive, loving, and kind. I use him like a door mat. I'm so freakin mean it's not even funny. I nearly launched a zucchini at the back of his head yesterday. Nearly whaled a glass of the wall yesterday. Why am I so pissed off? Why am I so angry? Why can't I be nice? The mere sound of him chewing, or flicking the ashes off of his cigarette make me throw him dirty looks, make me want to cringe. I feel bad cause it's only with him. He is my best friend...I don't treat my friends like this. WTF is wrong with me? I think I need a hobby...I should start exercising or something....You know....something healthy? Who would have thought?

Bah...

Oh yeah....28 days sober.

Liz, I went through similar emotions when I first started coming around.  Not having my best friend, alcohol, made dealing with emotions like anger and sadness, as well as dealing with relationships very difficult.  I needed therapy to relearn how to be human again.  I still need it, and I have been coming around for a while now.   Hang in there. Hugs, Trish

Hi!!  I was just going to write exactly what Trish just said! Your numbing agent is gone, so your skin is crawling, you're angry, you're ready to do him in with a spork and NOTHING he does will make you happy  right now.  Take a deep breath...if you have a sponsor call him/her. I remember when I was first dry I sat my then 3 y.o. and my husband down and apologized then and during my withdrawal period for my horrible behavior. I tried not to take it out on my little one, but boy when Steve got home there was HELL to pay!  Never mind a woman scorned, Hell hath no fury like an addict who needs a fix.  None of this is his fault. I'ts the booze's fault for getting under your skin, making you want to live trapped in that bottle and rake your BEST friends eyes out.  Try and relax a bit. It helped me to know that this was a normal reaction to not having my drug of choice. Call your sponsor...FIND A MEETING...grab your lifeline!  (bu****ch the hobbies. All of mine were addiction transfers...its' typical for us addicts) :) Hugs Marie

have you heard of the term DRY DRUNK.. I heard of this in an ALANON meeting a couple of weeks ago.. I wasn't sure exactly what it was myself.. and just searched it.    Read this... and see if it applies..  http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/info/a/aa081397.htm perhaps you are right and you need a hobby,,  also I would recommend an outpatient alcohol counselor.   Dan goes to one.. and it helps to talk out issues and problems.. and to give you insight on how to deal with emotions and actual life problems. ps.. you are still new out.. like a baby.. learning to deal with emotions.  Dan and I get on each others nerves many times..  we are just learning to cope.. as we learn to work thru our recovery.. I still need to get a sponsor to help me grow spiritually.. within the program.  I think if Mike hasn't yet.. he should go to a ALANON so that he can grow in his program too!! congratulations on 28 days

I used to suffer with an eating disorder (anorexia/bulimia) a long time ago. I know how the noises are making you feel. I got put on some anxiety medicine that helps with mine. I still get annoyed when I hear people eat in my ears. I used to get so mad at my father for chewing, but he said to me one day "I have to eat Mandy." I talked about it with my therapist and she suggested that perhaps he was doing something when he was eating, that reminded me of myself. Something I didn't like. She was right (and this might not be for you), the way he ate was exactly how I ate. It really helped me be less angry towards him about it. When we would sit down for meals, I decided instead of cussing at him or yelling at him, I would quietly leave the room. When I eat with my fiance now, I make sure there is always some loud noise to distract me. In the car - I turn on the radio when he starts his slurping down a drink. At home, I turn on the TV when he is eating and it's bothering me. Sometimes I'll go take a bath. Anything to keep my sanity. It's like once you hone in on it, you hear it ten times worse. It's like you're a fish and someone is knocking on your tank. Try detaching yourself from the situation if you can. Start leaving the room until you can calm down. Then slowly work in noise distractions when he is there. I guarentee you (if you're anything like me) that going up to him with a loud drink and slurping in his ears will not resolve the problem. This is something you are going to have to work VERY hard on and it might never go away, but you can live with it. Just never forget to breathe.

people who do this irritate me too...   when they chomp on ice.. or candy.. eat with their mouth open so they "smack" their food... I always associated with my mom yelling at myself and my sister to NOT do this as kids.. so now I can't stand it. actually yesterday.. my boyfriend was chomping on ice.. I said let me walk away from you while you eat that.. it just gets on my nerves sooo bad.  I'm not mad or anything.. I just can't stand hearing it.. and like you said.. once you hear it.. it's 1000 times louder..  

My fiance, thinks it's funny. He says he loves my quirks, but that when I get all fidgety over chewing noises, it's hilarious. SOMETIMES he will purposely try to chew louder or smack his gums slower. I give him the worst looks when he does it and all he does is giggle. It irritates me so bad. But in a weird way helps me realize how I am acting over a noise. It's so hard to get out of the moment once you're in it. It becomes more of coping with the moment then anything and ugh that's hard as hell