Powless Over People Places and things

I am powerless over people places and things. And my life is unmanagable. :)  Ok - I put that out into the universe. I now have two teenage boys with my younger son recently turning 13.  They are attempting to take over my house, my sanity and my serenity.  I actually had to buy deadbolt locks for my office and my room so I can lock up things that I wish to keep untouched (and boxes of snacks so they don't get devoured in one sitting).  They've taken to trying to get past the locks.  my bedroom entir edoor frame is now messed up - estimate for 300 bucks to fix.  grr So I take internet away.  I enforce this (I'm a computer professional) by changing the WEP key in my router as well as limiting network access to specific computers in the house based on their MAC address (a unique identifier specific to each network card).  So = they cannot use the internet until certain jobs around the house are done liek room cleaning ... or until they decide to obey me with regards to curfew etc.  So they are both up all night last night trying to pick the lock, break into the second story window and even reset circuit breakers in the house with the hopes of resetting the wireless router in the process so they can disobey me and get online in the middle of the night.  They're already both on my short sh** list as it is and I wake up to this - they don't even try to hide that they were doing it.  I have no control over my boys and I haven't for a long time (those who've known me a while have read volumes regarding my oldest) I'm really beaten down right now.  It's hard to accept/let go/practice serenity when this is so so so so wrong.  I've created a couple of monsters and now i'm paying dearly. This post is just me venting - doing a little mini share (since i cannot get to a meeting until 8 pm) and putting it out into the universe. The good news?  I'm sober again today - imagine dealing with this othewise... love and light, Michelle

Keep on keepin' on...

i think i rather not imagine..  and praise my higher power that I am childless, at the moment..lol. you poor thing.. at least they are initative when it comes to doing the bad things..  perhaps they just figure it a challenge..!!  *shrugging shoulders* God love ya.. hang in there and get to a meeting 

Many hugs to you D ~

G-d love you honey! I'll say a prayer for you and the boys!  Hugs, Marie

Michelle, You brought back memories of my two sons when they were teens.  The stuff they did made me grey, under the auburn dye I use.   My youngest once set off a pipe bomb in our neighborhood field, just to see it explode.  No property damage, except the divet in the field.  The neighbors 20 yards away were not so thrilled to have their morning coffee disrupted by their windows rattling.  He was arrested and had to do some community service.  My oldest was arrested for shoplifting $300 worth of baseball cards in junior high.  When askedd why, he replied we weren't paying enough attention to him. Let me assure you of some stuff from my experience, as well as my reading of your post.  Your sons are highly intelligent, and willing to try things to achieve a goal.  Those personality traits show they have great potential, if channeled in the right direction.  Also, their defiance of your rules is so normal for them as teens, in that they don't see the need to do things your way.  That is a sign of independent thinking.  I am not excusing their behavior, but just showing that these are signs of normal adolescent development.   If you have not already considered it,  you may want to consider family therapy with you and the boys together.  It could help you all communicate and get on the same page, and work out their rebellious stuff in a sane, rational way.  Murder in NOT an option.  Believe me, I considered it sooooooooo many times when my sons were teens.  Thankfully, my therapist helped me see that prison is not for me. The good news is, my boys are terrific adults now.  Both have good jobs.  One is quitting his job in a week in order to go back to college full time and complete his degree.  The other has finished graduate school and works for a marketing company in Manhattan.  He is hoping to go back to grad school to get a Ph.D. and teach theater in colleges.  Most importantly is that they love and respect me.  They seek me out to talk and hang out with when they are in town.  We have a good relationship.  All of those things I did not think were possible when I first started therapy and getting sober.  I thought they would hate me for the rest of my life, and avoid me the way I avoided my mom.   I hope this helps.  Just remember that they are normal and you can survive their teen years.  I did. Hugs, Trish