Day 13

bah....13 sober, 13 meetings.



I go to church this morning and realize there are people in way worse situations than me. Poor mother stood up, asked the congregation to please pray for her 28 year old daughter that is literally dying. Her whole body is cancer ridden. She has a husband and 2 small children and she is dying of cancer.....DYING.

This woman stands up every week and prays for her daughter, but this week, she looked ragged, she was choking up as she was speaking, her daughter is dying.

I'm telling you this because....I sit here and whine and "oh poor Liz" whaaaa...waaaaa....yadda yadda your life sucks so bad...BooHoo...you got two dui's....Pity party for me. Dude....That is nothing compared to 1) A mother watching her child die<I know, I've been there> and 2) Being 28 years old, knowing you are dying, knowing you are leaving your husband and 2 young children....Playing the waiting game till it's my time.

It disgusts me to think I am that selfish to have my pity parties, when I should be praying for people that *really* need it. I know I need help from God,I pray for myself, and my family...but rarely for others. I need to add them to my list.

Today will be fine. I will be fine.

I even went as far as praying for a groundhog today. *shaking head*

Coming home from Church Mike freakin plows over a damn ground hog. Mike said he ran away, but all I keep thinking(4 hours later) is please God either let him be completely fine(which I know he's not cause the SUV went BUMBUMP) and if he's not fine, please let him die nearly immediatly so he's not in pain for the next week cause we ran him over. *shaking head*

Yes, I've already cried like 4 times today....Again, for no reason.

Selfish and full of self pity??? You sound just like an alcoholic.LOL Dont beat yourself up Liz. Those are quite commmon traits with us. The fact that you recognize it and are doing something positive with it shows progress. Jesus was on the cross for only three days.How long are you gonna stay up there? Come down, we need the wood. Hugs and applause on thirteen days.

Hi Liz, Sounds like you are definitely getting there.  Do you know the acronym for SOBER?  Son  Of a  ***** Everything's  Real. You will be fine.  I like Daniels' suggestion, though.  Time to get off the cross.  Hugs, Trish

Hello Cutie, Right now your emotions are alittle on the raw side.  Everything seems really intense.  In time this will even it self out.  I know how you feel though.  Even with the time I have, I can get so hung up on my life, that I don't see other's pain.  Then I go to a meeting, and I hear about the cross's that others are carrying. Somehow, my cross is not that heavy any more. Remember you 90 in 90.

that poor groundhog