Day 9

9 days sober, 8 meetings down. yes, I did a meeting at 7AM this morning. I've cried twice today since 5.30.

I will hit another meeting tonight, to get back on track, 90 meetings in 90 days.

Altho, I am pretty excited today. Those of you familiar with the chips....I recieved my 3rd chip today.
Chip1-Becoming an AA member.
Chip2-24 hour sobriety.
Chip3-1 week sobriety.

Some may think this is absolutely rediculous to be so excited about a measly plastic chip, but Now this is a competition with myself. I know I can stay...wait...I should say, I know I have to stay sober for my own well being. This morning I heard too many people talking about deadly or damn near close to death relapses in the past few days. People in tears, crying for friends and family members. I don't ever want to do that to my friends/family. The guilt these people had was a little too overwhelming for me. So again, I cried. I was assured this morning that my eyes were merely leaking, and it's ok. One of these men even cried because I was a new member to this group, and he cried because he remembered how hard it was his first week/month, and he said "Liz, God bless your soul, keep coming back to these meetings. You have brought new hope to me today, and I only wish you the best."

Dudes, that's kinda rough at 7 in the morning. And it set the tone for the rest of my day. I am so greatful to have found AA, and actually utilizing it for my benefit.
I'll be back later tonight after my meeting.

Again, tell me if I start to annoy the **** out of you guys. I need this board as well as my meetings.

and I need YOU.. one alcoholic helping another.. that's what keeps us SOBER.. Dan and I went to a 5:30 AA meeting yesterday.. studing the Big Book.. I like that meeting..  1.  it's on my way home from work.. once I get home I hate going back out 2.  I need a studing meeting of the Big Book..  Dan and I are doing very well.. TODAY HUGSSS TO EVERYONE

Rhonda, how come Dan never comes to this board?


I know I have a horrible habit of smoking cigarettes one after the other when I am sitting in front of my computer at home.....I don't want to assume, but would he consume alchy while online, nearly out of habit. I did that with wine...till I realized I was drinking 1-2 bottles in a few hours.

Tell him to get his ass on here.....not the drama boards....this board.


*wink*

Lizzie... I am not sure why Dan does not... if I try to answer I'll just be speculating.. so I will ask him and let him know what you asked/said.  Actually I have wondered that myself.. and even the other night when I called you.. he said he didn't want to talk.  I wondered then why not.. and said to him. Why??  I thought it was alcoholics helping alcoholics that keeps us sober.. and he said since he did not want too, that he probably should.  That it was his alcoholic side that didn't want to talk but you didn't answer the phone *sigh* so I just left a message.. but Dan does get on the puter.. but just lurks on the boards.  Also.. he has been working really hard since coming out of rehab this last time to get to 1 or several times 2 meetings a day.  Looking for a job.. which I think he got one.. and started this past Monday so his hard work and surrender to his Higher Power *this time around* is showing him that the PROMISES do happen.. when the 12 steps are being worked!! I'll let him know that you want his ass on THIS BOARD..

Hi Liz, Yes I used to consume Alcky when on the PC. alot, for a couple of years. Although it doesnt have nothing to do with why I havent been posting lately. Being on the PC doesnt trigger a desire drinks the way say, Music does to me. I try not to listen to too much music right now cuz it reminds me of party times and triggers a reaction. I think this will ease with time but for now I stay away.   As far as not posting here. I just was pretty busy lately and trying to focus on me and my sobriety and clearing the reckage of my past. Plus, with all the drama the last month and 1/2. kinda takes me out of my recovery and more worried at what others are saying or inuendoing.Plus, I'm just lazy with my free time lately. I do lurk, but havent on this board lately. What I have been doing is dilligently following the AA program here in KY. I have been sober for 40 days today. Again. I think I am doing life in AA, but in installments.LOL I have made 50+ meetings in those 40 days. I have A sponser and Have been calling him and others for help and support. I have been working on the steps, Reading The big book and Daily prayers. I have been praying as much as possible and trying my best to be a good person today.I have had a deep and meaningful spiritual awakening since sobering up. I think the Higher Power thing was a barrier for so long when trying to get sober,but no longer. I know many people dont have a burst of spiritual experience like I did, But for most it is a gradual process. Mine is still a process in work,but I really had a strong awakening in an instant. You know, what I was thinking and told a few people, was that I had my first drinks at age 11 my first treatment was at 17, my second treatment was at 27, 10 years later, my 3rd treatment was at 35, 8 years later, my 4th treatment was at 41, 6 years later my 5th treatment was 9 months later, It's like I'm haveing contractions. I think I'm ready to give birth to a sober person. LOL I will post on here soon but am trying to stay focused right now. I would like to share my experience, strength and hope with you all soon. So I will be back and added this board to my favs. As far as Not wanting to talk when Rhonda called you. I think it was cuz I dont deal well with Knowing what to say to peole going thru hard times. I feel awkward and like what I have to say isnt important. I guess that is one of my Character flaws that I need to work on. But I did say I would talk because I'm trying to do the exact opposite of what my alcoholic mind tells me to do. I have been ruled by that Alcoholic instinct for so long That only doing the opposite of that instinct has keet me on the right road for these 40 days. I certainly Could be Really much worse right now if I hadnt rebelled againt my natural impulses. Doing this and following the program has been paying off tremendously and I see some of the promise being cultivated already in my life. I'm gonna hold on for dear life now cuz my life really depends on that Small flame That My higher power has started in my heart. Hugs Liz and Happiness to you and you all. I have to go to work now. A small Gift My higher power has given me in the last few days.I'm finally off disability. Hang in there It works if you work it. :kiss:

you're doing wonderful hun..  I know you are already gone for the day.. but I hope it was a GOOD DAY.. and you got to keep busy

Morning Daniel-

Listen up doll....

Step 12 of the traditions.

12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

Principles before personalities. Who cares what everyone else thinks about you. That is thier problem, not yours.

I think I may Not have said that very well LIz. I'm not worried what other people are saying or innuendoing about me, I am just worried about getting caught up in that situation and holding on to resentments or losing focus on me. I tend to get caught up in that stuff and then it becomes about them rather than me. I'm not worried about what they may say,but about what I may say, which would be a step in the wrong direction. Hugs and congradulations on 10 days.

Good Afternoon Liz, I love my early morning meetings.  They have a special quality to them.  I am so glad you found one that blesses you as mine do to me.  Most people are dead serious about sobriety at that hour at a meeting. The chips and medallions are very special.  They are symbols of hard work and courage.  Hang on to them.  I keep mine in my wallet.   Glad you are working it one day at a time. Hugs, Trish

   Yeah for Day 9!!!!!  No, it's a totally big deal that you have 9 days and that you got your coin (chip).  It's rough to get sober and I am grateful that you share it with us. If it's any consolation, I was a water bucket myself and don't think a day passed in the first year that I didn't ball like a baby. Looking back, I remember how much that helped me to heal. So I say........good for you.........life in recovery is so much better!!!!!!!

Martha