utilizing the board

I am going to take full advantage of this board from here on out. I have hit rock bottom when it comes to my alcohol disease. I am 2 days sober and 1 AA meeting closer to being a sober alcoholic. I love my husband for he came to my first meeting tonight.  He saw me cry in front of a room of strangers and did not judge.  The other AA'ers saw me cry to where i couldn't speak cry. I do not want alcohol to control my life any more.  Every negative aspect in my life right now has to do with alcohol or my antics while drinking alcohol.   I am done. This is rediculous, I am better than this.  Expect daily posts from now on.  If you get sick of me, I'm sorry.  I need you guys.  I need my AA'ers as well. I purchased my Big Book and am going to read it cover to cover over the next few days so I can understand my illness. 90 meetings in 90 days is my goal.  Meeting one down. I thank you for listening and truley appreciate you guys. 2-days sober,  L

awww love you Lizzie you are human like the rest.. and those in AA only want the same thing you want.. to not drink.   and can I recommend that your husband go to an ALANON.. it will help him and you also.  At least see if he wants to TRY ONE.. he needs to work his program as you work yours.  It's awesome that he went with you tho...  it's good to cry.. and know that you surrender.. you are powerless over alcohol.   can't wait to see yours (and others..) posts on here.. I love this board too.. it helps me during my days here at work to see how others are doing.  Sometimes it's a little slow.. I wish more would chat on it.. even if not about addiction.. but for addicts to come and chat about life things. As I was leaving work yesterday.. I said to a coworker in the hall .. "I'm tired.. I went to an AA last nite"  I saw a coworker back up and look up to see who "said that" type of look.. I smiled and said HI to him.. for some reason.. I'm NOT ashamed to say I go to AA.. I told my coworker friend..what I WAS ashamed of was my DUI and having to leave work and blow in my vehicle before starting it. and who knows.. I figure if someone hears my story.. it might inspire them to go if needed..  one day at a time hun..

Cutie, Your adventure is just beginning.   Keep us posted. DarDar

My name is Steve.  I am 55, post op since 6/2005.  Since the surgery I cannot tollerate alcohol the way I used to.  After a few drinks I just "hit a wall" and lights go out, no memory..just wake up in bed.  My wife is not putting up with me very well, and I do not blame her.  I read your site here and your posts.  You seem like a really togheter yourng woman.  Like you said so often "this too will pass".   I am avoiding AA, there is a real stigma attached to it for me.  I am seeing a shrink every few months and she reminds me to be better.   Other than the alcohol I am doing perfectly well.  Good health: no diabetes, no sleep apnia, normal cholesterol, no hypertension.  I play a lot of golf. I have gained strength from your recent posts and will continue to look in.  That is great your husband is supporting you. Continue to do well, Steve 380/200

Hi Steven...  just wanted to say.. "nice knickers.. "  no really... I liked them on the golf course.. and WHAT A GOLF COURSE.. where was that at..?? okay.. I see Claremont.. but is that just in CA?? and best wishes on your path to curb drinking.. I wish you the best.  I have been sober since 11-17-06.. with the assistance of helping a boyfriend and AA.  By helping him.. it's allowed me to help myself

take care,

Rhonda

 

Hi Steve, I've been sober for 21 years and have not done the 'go to meetings' faithfully. I DO go when I'm feeling stressed out, though. I'ts my life preserver, as is this list. I can remember going to the bookstore, buying a copy of The Big Book and working each step one by one on my own.  Well not totally...my husband, and best friend, daughter and sister were my safety net. Without support of some kind, whether meeetings, religion or family, it's much harder to stay sober.  I didn't go to weddings, parties, or out to dinner .... ANYPLACE liquor was served for the first two years of my sobriety. There is nothing so wonderful for me as waking up sober, knowing what day it is, where I slept last night and what I said! As an addict, I can't deal with the admission that something else has control over my actions, thoughts and deeds. That'****ting rock bottom face first.  Once I admit my powerlessness, surrender and quitting cold turkey is a snap for me. I'm in therapy weekly because I KNOW what made me want to live in the bottom of a bottle, made me smoke almost 4 packs a day, made me overeat, overspend, and get obsessed with weight lifting to the point of injury isn't going away just because I'm having a bypass.    I know for me, one is too many and a thousand would never be enough. If you can manage to curb your drinking, and are ok with that, great!!!  I will say that when I need AA, it's nice knowing that safety net won't let me fall.  Use it however you need it. :)  Your wife must be an incredibly strong woman, and you are one lucky man.  Hugs, Marie

Hi Steve,  When I hit my wall and have no memory, i'm either in my car, trying to find my car, or in bed.  hahaha.(I know it's not funny)  There have been times I've woke up in my front yard with my pants down because I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time so I would squat in my yard, then weeble wobble fall backwards and pass out.  *shaking head* As for your wife.  I know my husband was at his wits end with me, we fought everyday because of my stupid drunk-ness.  I have been blessed with Mike because he is helping me.  I am his wife, through thick and thin.  Please do not let alcohol disrupt your marriage.  I did and it sucked.  3 weeks after we are married I get my 2nd dui.  That's genius.  *smacks forhead* I'm glad your health is well, and keep up with your shrink....when I went to my shrink for my issues, I lied to him every week about alcohol.  Again, me being stupid. Good luck in your journey Steve- Liz ps-as Rhonda said, hot knickers!  *wink*

You can do it L and Steve. I don't go to AA anymore.  But I was thankful for it being there in the beginning of my recovery.  I am an atheist, so the religion thing is a big turn off for me as I just do not have any kind of "higher power-intelligence" thing happening for me personally.  But when I needed to get sober...I needed to be with the people of AA.  They are addicts and alcoholics, and they have been through what I went through. Many of the ideas and messages are very helpful to us.  And it is a time when we need to be around people who understand and know what we are going through.  I could not do it alone.  That is for sure, and I was going to die.  But yea...religious-speak makes me gag in all honesty, but I was willing to listen to everything else that kept me sober.  Mostly personal stories are great to listen too. I just passed my second birthday (See, I do barrow some AA ideas) on July 23rd.  Woo Hoo for me...for I seriously did not think I was going to make it out alive. And now I treasure my sobriety.  Life is much more easy and fun sober.

Cynthia- This is very interesting you say this.  I went to 2 meetings last night-1 beginners open and 2nd one was closed with a speaker.  He too, too an athiest, and he said the same exact things you've said.  he said the whole God religion crap was bull****  he also said he kept stumbling on step 4, 5 7 and 9....however, by the time he got to his 12th step, he knew there was a higher being, it was his higher being, but he knew it was there.  Stumpling on his steps, meant relapse after relapse after relapse.  I related with this man in every aspect, it was very odd.   Thank you for sharing! Liz

Keep up the good work.  Just do it one day at a time. I go to meetings regularly.  It helps me clear my head, and keep me focused on not drinking.  I get out of myself and help others when I go to a meeting.   You are doing great.  It's okay to be emotional.  That is part of sobriety.  Feeling the feelings for the first time in your life, instead of numbing them. Good luck.   Hugs, Trish