so my life...

so lately... when do i begin... so  much to say.... so i started iop last week.  it was awsome.  so much better than aa.  I didnt drink for a few days.  I was good.  I go back on monday for my next meeting.  I had 2 drinks last night though.  I was at the relay for life.  My team was right next to my ex's team.  I saw him and his girlfriend making out and holding hands all night.  I felt like i was going to be sick!  seriously!  I cant belive he left me for her.  And then would flaunt it in front of me after everything that I have been going through.  I just feel so used and cheated on.  When it rains it pours,  But I am dealing.  Any advice on how to get over someone... I havnt really had to deal with this befor.  It makes me want to drink... and i hate that!

When my husband left me six years ago, I was already in relapse after over 8 years of sobriety.  My drinking got worse before I finally went back to AA and started making meetings in earnest.  I cried, and talked to my sponsor over and over again, and journaled and cried some more, and prayed and cried some more, and exercised and cried some more, and prayed and cried some more, and went back to meetings, talked to my sponsor, journaled, exercised, prayed, and cried some more.  It hurt like hell.  But, I stayed sober.  Then, when I was beginning to get over the divorce, and had a few years of sobriety under my belt he remarried and reopened that wound all over again.  The weekend he remarried was the only time in 15 years with my therapist that my therapist was concerned about my welfare.  I went to meetings and cried and journaled and cried, and exercised and cried, and prayed and cried.  But I stayed sober.   Rejection hurts.  But, one thing I have learned in all my years in recovery.  Emotional pain will not kill me.  Drinking will.  I hate feeling the F***ing feelings like Hell.  But, I hate how I feel after I have relapsed even more.   Thinking through the drinking BEFORE I pick up has helped me not to drink.  Doing all of the things I do, like talking to my sponsor, exercising, journaling, praying and crying have helped me not to drink. Find some alternative behaviors to help you deal with the feelings.  Keep doing them over and over again, make a list of things you can do, get friends you can call to talk to.  Just don't drink. Hugs, Trish

I am so sorry.  What a difficult situation for sure.  Now that Relay is over...try to stay away from places where you might see him.  Protect yourself right now.  You need to concentrate on one thing right now, and that is staying away from alcohol.   Certainly try and find a therapist to help you in addition to the iop.  Some individual care.  Take care you right now.