Update on lil ole me

I did get over my my crazy angry week.  Wow this thing called emotion - it *is* temporary!  I'm most proud of myself for not acting on my emotions.  Intense emotions give me the overwhelming feeling that I should **DO** something, and that something is usually destructive.  I rode it out.  I weathered the storm.  I'm grateful.  I'm learning that sometimes the best thing to DO is to just feel what I'm feeling and once the edge is off the emotion, I can learn something from the situation. An unexpected blessing came from me calling the police on my son two weeks ago  (of course, there's still the rain of crap to endure also).  His probation officer received an escelation from the police dept, and she brought him in for a drug test, which he failed of course.  She then got us on the court calendar for the very next day where the judge basically told him that he could choose to go into a 12 month residential facility called Pathways to Recovery, or he could choose to go to trail on his recent felony charge and look at 18 months in a juvenile detention boot camp 4 hours away from here.  If he completes his recovery program successfully (doesn't get kicked out), then those felony charges will "go away". The program is more like a halfway house/group home than a hospital, but he will have weekly psychiatrist appts, group therapy, anger management classes, regular 12 step meetings, life skills classes and he will continue school (court mandated - he cannot quit school).  He'll receive weekly drug tests and he gets passes to visit me on the weekends for 4 hours each week.  It's also only about 30 mins from my home. While I was not ready to let my boy go 18 months before his 18th birthday, this truly is an answer to my prayers.  It removes the dangerous element from my home with a touch of LOVE and not just punishment.  He will get some help, meds for his depression, coping skills and get to experience life away from home in a safe, controlled environment.  I just have to mentally stay in TODAY and stop worrying about whether or not he'll screw it up. :) I'm blessed to have a good job with understanding management.  I took a few days off last week to deal with all this and felt immensely guilty, but my boss told me yesterday that I should let him know if he could help in anyway - be it more time off, support, EAP help whatever.  I'm very fortunate. My lesson for today is this.  Doing the right thing is NOT called doing the easy thing.  Doing the right thing might really suck sometimes, but if I practice being a person OF character instead of just being a character, my Higher Power does reward me with the fruits of my efforts. Came to believe... I always had a cursory belief in a HP - but it's amazing what happens when I actually trust, obey and act "as if".  My faith gets strengthened. I ate an ice cream cone yesterday.  I had a mental argument about it for an hour before doing so.  LOL I'm still sick.  It didn't hurt me.  I'm almost 3 years post GBS and still at goal, although I did gain some weight back when I got sober (only about 10 lbs).  I had gotten WAY too skinny though and this is a healthy place for me.  So yeah - I still struggle with self-soothing behavior.  I'm still working on learning balance. I accept who and where I am right now.  I acknowledge there will be more storms to weather.  I trust that I will come through just fine.  That's a hellava long way from where I began. Sorry for the ramble - love you all! Michelle

Michelle, I wish you and your son all the best.  I'm glad he is going with Pathways.  It amazed me when I was in rehab how much more willing "some" of the teens were to be there, and learn and change. 

I pray that your son get recovery, and start working the program for himself.  My son was in several different rehabs when he was younger.  I am glad he is off drugs, but he still is drinking now.  He lives 6 hours away and is self-supporting now, so I don't have much say in his life.  I just pray he stops drinking and starts being responsible for his recovery. Hugs, Trish

Sending you and your family many good thoughts and prayers!!