My first meeting in *18* years!!

I LOVED it.  It came to my turn to talk and I started to cry. I KNEW I was in the right place. I needed to get back to basics and tonight's meeting was all about STEP ONE. Admitting how powerless we are in the face of alcohol. I know that for me one is too many and 1000 would NEVER be enough. I can't drink socially, quietly, slowly or daintily. No pinkie up for THIS drunk...I slammed em back as fast and furious as I could. I did things while drunk I'm ashamed of, as was everyone else at the meeting..and it felt good to once again know I was in good company.  When I stopped 21 years ago, I never went to meetings. I went three times in all those years. I never felt the sisterhood I did tonight. I'll be going back next Tuesday night. (and I'll bring a sweater...for ONCE in my life I froze!!!) LOL... I was so nervous before the meeting...just driving there I could feel the anxiety build and build and build. It'd been so long I figured I'd just go and sit and keep quiet. HA! I talked, I laughed, I cried, I LOVED it....I told them I felt like I needed the safety net and was glad AA made that possible. I felt like I'd come home. Finally. Marie

How awesome for you. That is the beauty part of the fellowship, the comradery and laughter is contagious. I made another meeting this morning and it was a good one as well. Keep going to the meetings and see about getting a sponsor. I would not be where I am today if not for my sponsor. I was so close to drinking last week, and she kicked my butt exactly when and where I needed it. I have called her everyday since then, just to check in. Of course, I am also telling her I am making the meetings. She also has me doing step work, which I need to do as well. I am proud of you for getting to the meeting. That is a huge accomplishment. Hugs, Trish

Big hug :)   I echo what Trish said.  I think God puts certain people in our lives for a reason, and my sponsor is definitely one of them.  I'm a special kind of rebel; I don't do well with demands, commands, thou-musts, or stuff shoved down my throat.  My sponsor is also like this and has mastered the fine art of guiding me to the conclusions I need to find.  She is a fount of support, program reminders, friendship, listening skills and teaching by example.  I truly want what she has.  Like Trish, just having her to call every day and be accountable to has really helped me in the last couple of weeks when I've felt like saying Eff it all.  I cried on the phone to her yesterday, "I just want some RELIEF dammit!  I don't care if it's chocolate cake, a shopping spree, a valium, a drink - I just want relief" Her reply, "some things just have to be endured.  feelings are temporary.  Say your third step prayer.  Say your serenity prayer.  Make a gratitude list.  Call me back after you go to a meeting and let's catch up"  Funny how such simple things seem so ridiculous when I'm in the heat of my squirrely thinking.  Even funnier is how those things DO HELP if I do them genuinely. I love our fellowship.  I've been getting involved with service work - chairing some meetings, etc.  This helps me make a solid commitment to show up even when I don't feel like it.  Good stuff. So happy you got what you need. Keep coming back; it works if you work it!  ;-) LOVE, m

Michelle, You are so right on about how our sponsors can remind us how to decompress ourselves without drinking, or acting out in other ways.  I sometimes need to be reminded to pray and take care of myself.  I have an instant forgetter in my brain.  I forget how bad it was when I was drinking.  I also forget how to take care of myself and self-soothe when the heat is on and the squirrels are loose in the brain. My sponsor has a nice, gentle way of helping me.  When I shared that she kicked my butt, it was with love and tenderness, which is why I am so grateful I asked her to be my sponsor when I did.   I also am going to get more involved in service work.  I am getting involved in a prison commitment to the women's prison in my county.  It should prove interesting. Hugs, Trish