Ever wanna say F**** it?

I am struggling lately.  Health issues have bugged me, financial mess is dogging me, and I am absolutely hating my teaching job.  I have given into the food, and am not making my 12 step meetings because of my multiple jobs, one of which I am on leave of absence from.  I hate the mess I am in and see no way out of it for now.  The urge to drink is really strong, and I have been so tempted to just say F*** it and get rip roaring drunk and stay that way for a while.   Right now, fear of my therapist keeps me sober.  Hopefully, I can get my head out of my A** and start sorting out the mess in my head some.   Hugs, Trish

Yes, I have these times too. I actually have not been going to meetings and for now it suits me fine. the drama is overwhelming. I just have not figured out what my best alternative is going to be. The principles are great but there is a limit. Laurie

Look Trish, Giving in and getting drunk is only going to make you feel depressed. You'll feel guilty and the cycle will start agian. It's NOT worth it hon. You've done an amazing thing in conquering a disease that could kill you and tohers.  THIS is when you need those meetings most because you're feeling so down. Please go to a meeting and trust in your Higher Power to see you through this!   You can fight the urge! Don't give in and give up your self-control. I'm here if you need me!  Marie

Many hugs for you Trish!!  Good thoughts and prayers to you to get through it...

I've heard other versions of "what a friend is" but I really like this quote.  Thanks for the encouragement.  Krista

Praying for you my friend!!   Hugs     ~ Deidre 

Today's Scripture

"Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9)

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria

God says not to tremble or be dismayed by anything, because He is with you wherever you may go. That is such an encouragement, and it's absolutely true! You should be walking around in life without even the slightest amount of fear, because that is not the nature God gave you. You should refuse to be defeated by the things around you, even if they seem insurmountable. Perhaps one definition of courage might be staying strong and moving forward, even when most would give up and even surrender their ground to fear. Be strong and courageous today for God and do not allow yourself to be defeated by fear or the unknown!

A Prayer for Today

God, I want to live and serve You boldly without being crippled by fear. Make me strong and courageous in Your power to do what You want me to do. In Jesus' Name. Amen. I understand, I too feel that way at times.  I'm celebrating 7 months sober today and am still not happy at times.  It's not easy but we have to take it one day at a time.    Take care, Carol Ann

I drink due to stress but finally went to two AA meetings with the help of my husband. I got s sponser who told me she is tough and that scares me but we have not had a chance to hook up together as I'm leaving for the weekend. Hang in there, we are all for you *BIG HUG* Donna

Hey Trish, How are you doing? I can honestly say...I never want to say "fudge it".  It got so ugly and horible for me.  I don't ever want to go there again.  I know there are hard times.  That is life.  But if alcohol ever touched my lips again...what is wrong will only get MUCH worse for me.  But I do understand.  I have had dreams where I drank or used, and I was so upset and disgusted with myself...I was so happy to wake up and realize I was dreaming.  I was safe. Stay safe...

In a word, yes.  Yes I do feel that way sometimes.  Today in fact. I'm hanging in there and thinking of you.  Hope you're hanging in there too. I just keep telling myself, the way I feel today is nothing compared to how I'm going to feel if I let myself go there.  If I do that, I might as well be dead. Keep fighting the good fight, hugs, m