Alcohol

I have struggled with drinking before and after surgery.  I have seen a therapist about my problems. I have tried and tried I am on lexapro and I am still the most miserable person on planet earth.  I hate my job and I hate being alone. Last night I wanted to reach out, but to who. I sit in my one bedroom apartment me drunk off wine and laying in the middle of livingroom floor. I gave myself two options last night, commit suicide or drink myself to sleep, well as you can see I took option B. I am so tired of being lonely, like Al Green said, everyone has someone but me.   I have no real friends, b/c I have no one that can listen to me without judging me. I just hold it all in, the hurt, the pain, the sadness and I am tired so tired. At this point I can't wait for 5pm to get home to hit the bottle again.  I have little no appetite, I just want to sleep. I don't know why I am talking about this or even writing it, I guess I just needed to release b/c the pain is making my chest hurt.

Your not alone. I was in your shoes just last week but I have a husband and son but I choice vodka over food.   Your talking about it because your tired of the drinking and want help and someone to understand.   I knew I was ready to hit bottom a few weeks ago and I thought going to Canada to see family would snap me out of it and instead I ended up in the hospital two nights in a row with grand maul seizures. The second time I almost bite the side of my tongue off.   I came home swearing NO more drinking but could not stop reaching for the bottle so I called my PCP and she put me on Lorazepam and within half an hour I had NO more cravings and NO withdrawals. I felt like I was on top of the world once again but before this I would lay in bed all day and not eat. Can't hurt to ask your Doctor about it.   We are all hear if you want to talk. [email protected]   Donna

I hear you and relate big time.  I felt the same way at one point in my life.  I don't judge you, as I have been there and done that.  The loneliness is a killer in the worst way.  But, you don't have to stay lonely.  There are alternatives. What helped me was to get involved in Alcoholics Anonymous.  They didn't judge me, they understand me.  There, I got phone numbers of people who give a damn whether I drink or not, and they are willing to take my phone call and listen to me and help me not to drink.   I also want to encourage you to try not drinking because alcohol is a depressant.  It will make you feel worse than you already do.  Lexapro is an antidepressant.  The alcohol is working against the Lexapro.   Please give Alcoholics Anonymous a try.  Just attend a few meetings and see if you can get some support from some of the women there.  In the meantime, I am here if you need.  E-mail me at [email protected] Hugs, Trish

Trish,

Did you go to AA alone the first time? Some people say take my husband and others say it's better going alone but I'm scared being alone.

Donna

Hi Chocolate Angel, redBuddafly here (aka Erica).  Gosh... I know exactly how you are feeling.  You speak of the lonliness that you feel, and I too feel the EXACT same way. I did not however have thoughts of offing myself, but, I did go home and reach out to my significant other.. a bottle of wine.   If you go back a few posts, you can read my story.  But.. what it dosent say (at least I dont think so) is that wine was my beverage of choice to relax, and loosen up or just get drunk so I didnt think about just how lonely I was/is.   I did stop drinking on january 26th.. but I will say this.. I am still lonley. But.. I also really dont put myself out there either.  But.. my point is this: It dosent ache as much sober as it seemed to when I was drinking.  Hang in there and please, if you need someone to reach out too.. I will gladly be there for you.  Erica

yes, I went alone. I have pretty much gone alone for the past 18 years. There is really nothing to be afraid of. The people in AA believe that the newcomer, you, are the most important person at the meeting. They truly want to help you get sober. It is up to you whether you take someone or not. Just know that non-alcoholics should only attend Open meetings, which are open to anyone. Closed meetings are for people wanting to stop drinking. Hugs Trish

Hi, I'm sorry you are struggling.  I don't drink alone anymore, but do socially.  A few months ago I started going to church with my son who is now out of the area.  I am trying to make friends, healthy friends so I will not want to drink.  I use to go out every weekend to a bar to drink so I wouldn't be alone, this was a couple years ago.  Ended up with a drug addict boyfriend who used me financially and that snapped me back to reality.  Currently I live with a sister and my neice 14 yrs old and I don't activly hang out with them.  I'm pretty much in my room, but since my WLS I go to water aerobics 3x a week and now church on Sundays.  I think about alcohol, but then I think it's not going to help me not to be sad or lonely, it made it much worse. I will pray for you and think about a church family.  God wants us all to be happy and to be loved. I hope I helped. Take care.

Chocolate hang in there girlfriend. I was too alone for a while and I was searching in the wrong place and ended up with alot of busta's. I even think I have settled to get married and I am not really happy right now. Girl love yourself. the wine is just an excuse or an alternative to the lonliness- hey I drink even though I was told it is too early out- I dont daily but I miss my drink now that I was told i couldnt have it.