Question re: drinking...

particularly wine.  I watched the Oprah show yesterday and I admit it struck a nerve.  I was a "party girl" in college and have been a "drinker" since then.  After a trip to Italy in '04 I became quite the wine lover.  I had WLS in August of '05 and now wine has a much stronger effect on me than it once did...whereas beer, not so much.  I rarely drink liquor at all.  My boyfriend and I have red wine at least 5 nights a week....sometimes a little, sometimes more, but one glass makes me quite tipsy and then I want more.  When I talk to my friends, it seems that wine at night is pretty common, especially with my feinds that are married.  But, I wonder if I haven't transferred my food addiction.  It feels lik I like wine a little too much and often have much more than my body can handle.  I wouldn't call myself an alcoholic I don't think but I am concerned.  Any advice?

Wine... oh glorious wine..   I posted my story a week or so ago, if you want to go back and read it.   I ask why are you concerned? ( I think the fact that YOU are concerned.. speaks volumes)  Do you feel bad the next day after drinking, like guilt or shame, mixed in with a hangover?  Ever experience blackouts?  Have you found yourself trying to control your drinking or making promises to yourself about it??   The funny thing about alcohol and alcoholism is that there is this sterotype of what an alcoholic looks like.. and you think to yourself.. Its not ME!  Why its the guy/gal who wakes up with bottles under the bed, drinks all day long, cant get off the couch, the bum in the streets, etc... but you know what.. its the classy lady who goes to work everyday and everyone loves. Its the fun gal everyone wants to go out with because she is so fun and funny. Its the gal who loves wine, and can you tell all about it: where a certain type of grape is grown, what makes it different, what it means when someone says that wine has 'legs', etc..     So.. I guess what I am saying is this.. if YOU are concerned.. then you should be....  Its not about WHAT you drink.. its HOW you drink.. and if you can stop after just ONE?? Good luck from a fellow wine lover.....  Sober since 1/26/07 RNY 11/9/00 Erica

Georgia,

i'm actually wondering about the same issue. I love wine and champage and have a glass or two (or occasionally more) w/dinner w/my boyfriend at least 4-5 times a week.

normally, this would never be a concern but since i did have wls recently and with all the talk about transferring addictions, i'm beginning to wonder if having wine is something i need to be worries about.

 

Nobody knows for sure where that magic line is that one crosses from regular drinking into alcoholic drinking.  As I said in another post, studies have been done that suggest continued consumption beyond our tolerance level can trigger that shift into alcoholic drinking. Nobody can tell you that you have a drinking problem and know for sure.  Only you could know this. What I can do is tell you how it was for me.  I was a "party girl" when younger too.  As a daughter of two alcoholics and an ex wife of an alcoholic, I knew all too well how much I did NOT want to go there.  And I didn't - for years.  I didnt' struggle with alcohol at all for a long time.  While I did other things like use marijuana or food to deal with "life", alcohol was NOT a problem for me. Well then came the wonderful gift of WLS.  I lost weight.  I was HOT!  I was fun!  Men loved me again!  I was single and once again hit "party mode".  I continually drank way past my tolerance level (which is very low now after surgery) and slipped full throttle into alcoholic drinking.  I'm not sure exactly when it happened either, but it happened. I know lots of people who have a few glasses of wine each night and are not alcoholic.  For me personally, it got to where I couldn't stop with one glass; I'd keep drinking until I was either blacked out or passed out.  I couldn't go a weekend (or even a night) without a drink.  I found myself doing things to control the consumption, such as making every other beverage diet coke, promising myself not to drin****il a certain time, tried to only drink on weekends, tried to stick to just beer, etc etc etc.  I was a dismal failure at all of them. Just be careful and try to be totally honest with yourself.  That's the best advice I can give.  I'm the uber control freak, but couldn't control alcohol.  Three ulcers, a dui, a 6 car accident and six months sober later - all I can say is that THIS alcoholic cannot handle it -) Hugs and love. Michelle

First I drank vodka...12 Black Russians in one night and then drove home from the club. Luckily, I made it home safely and no one got hurt.  Then I drank beer figuring I  needed to slow things down...then I got tired of the taste and found I LOVED wine and champagne. Within a very short time I was trying to figure out how to make champagne work in my cereal bowl. My daughter was three at the time. I remember my best friend blasted me because she called at 9 am on a Saturday and I was already plastered. Shortly after that, after talking to my little one ,she said that she didnt' want  Mommy to drink anymore. I knew then that  I'd hit rock bottom. I woke up wanting a bottle before my alarm went off! I can say to this day that one is too many and 1000 would NEVER be enough.  Only you can decide what's too much. It has an amazing addictive quality.  Some can handle it, others, like me, cannot.  You can find an AA meeting just about everywhere now. If you're too shy for that, get a copy of the Big Book. Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or your public library. I got the book 21 yrs ago and realized I'd been lying to myself for years! Denial is a huge part of having any addiction. If we could all quit any time we wanted...the world wouldn't need rehabs. The only way I conquer an addiction is to quit cold turkey. I did that for mysefl and my family 21 yrs ago. I'll never regret that decision!  Good luck! Marie

Georgia,  I know what you are saying, I think.  I  used to drink an occasional glass of wine or two with my husband at dinner, a party, in the evening or on vacation.  It was never an issue at all. Then I had WLS, and when given permission by my physician, I resumed our occasional drink.  Although, now I found out that one glass of wine and I was toast.  So, for me, I think it is better that I just totally refrain from wine and all other alcoholic drinks.  I have a great husband, 4 children and a busy life and I still struggle with food addiction and getting a high from shopping. So, I don't need to throw in alcohol and the possibility of transferring those addictions to that.  For me, it is just better not to do it at all and risk it.  I know where it would go and that is not good.  Do I wish I could have a glass of wine now and then -sure I do, but I just better not. I don't know if this makes sense or not, but good luck to you and the decisions you have to make. Kim M.

One other thought, if it is that stopping and relaxing time you enjoy with your boyfriend, how about the nonalcoholic wines that are out there.  I don't know anything about them, but maybe that way you could still sit down with him every night and have some"wine" without risking addiction.  Just a thought. Kim M.