Hydrocodone Addiction - Help

Hi all, I have a problem. No, I KNOW I have a *serious* problem. I am 43 and have raised 2 beautiful daughters. I have been through my ups and downs in life but NEVER have I been physically addicted to anything. Now I know I am not alone in this addiction. I am not a religous person which tends to make most NA programs a conflict for me (no flames on the religion please) I never liked pain killers and would do my best not to take them unless I really needed them. Here is my story. After having RNY on June 30th things went smooth, then in November I ended up with a ulcer. It hurt so bad I ended up in the hospital and taking hydrocodone for the pain. Then I needed the hydrocodone. I couldn't even sit up straight or stand the pain would get so bad and the hydrocodone helped. The pain waqs so bad that a trip to the grocery store was almost impossible. The pain went on for about a month and then the ulcer seemed to heal and I am now doing much better in regards to the ulcer, except...now I find myself needing to take the hyrdrocodone just to feel normal each day. By feel normal I mean, if I don't take hydrocodone my skin crawls, I shake all over, I get chills, my body hurts all over and I can't think of anything but getting a hydrocodone pill. What scares me even more is I am now up to taking about 10 pills a day just to not feel *normal* I don't feel any *buzz* from them I take them to not feel like SH*T and because I NEED them, I am scared. I don't know how to quit. I have lied to my PCP to get the pills and I am sure he is on to me. I have called him and left a message that I need to discuss an issue and would like a call back. I called and left the message yesterday and have not heard back yet. What options are available for getting off of these damn pills? How can I stop this madness? HELP? Thanks for your wisdom, understanding and support. Linda

One of your options is to go to a rehab and detox and learn to live life without the pills. Warning, most rehabs will encourage you to participate in 12 step recovery. I understand your concern about 12 steps being religious, but the truth is, they are spiritual, and encourage developing a spiritual life, they don't, or shouldn't preach a particular religion. Many people who come to my AA meetings don't want to hear about God, because they have been burned by the churches in their lives in some form or fashion. The words used are "God as I understand God" and "Higher Power" not Jesus, or Allah, or any other reference to God. First thing is to get yourself off the drug and you may need medical intervention to get off. Detoxing in a rehab or hospital is what I would recommend. It usually takes several days to detox off a drug or alcohol, but the recovery is lifelong. Good luck. Hugs, Trish