Finally

Well, this is rather embarassing in a way. I finally got a new sponsor in AA. When I came back to the program in Sept. 2001, I got a sponsor right away, and we worked on the steps again, and I did rather well for a couple years. Then, I had trouble reaching her by phone and decided I needed a new sponsor, and had a good one for a while. I then met a woman at one of my meetings with whom I had a lot in common with other addictions and she worked with me while I was in graduate school. Then, I slacked off in my meetings my last year of grad school, and stopped calling her. I have been out of grad school for 18 months, and have been without a sponsor longer than that. I almost got the courage to ask a woman to sponsor me, but lost her number when it mattered the most, and that was months ago. Well, tonight, I finally got my butt, frozen as it is tonight, to a meeting she attends and got the courage to ask her. I told her what was going on. I work in mental health part time and here I am telling people to get to AA and get a sponsor and go to meetings, but I have been slacking off in my meeting attendance. I am pleased that I got this done. I have wanted to get drunk all week long. Yesterday would have been my 31st wedding anniversary, and I had been on the pity pot all week long. I started joking with coworkers about finding a bar near my school and tying one on. When I talk like that, I know I am on dangerous ground. I feel so much better tonight after my meeting, which by the way was not heated very well, if at all, and it is 22 degrees outside. But, the Lord blessed me. Hope you are all sane, sober and staying warm. Hugs, Trish

I haven't been to a meeting in the past 15 yrs. or so. But knowing that one is around the corner when I need it keeps me sane...and sober! I have had some horrendously bad days since I quit 21 yrs. ago. One one hand I congratulate myself on not picking up a drink again no matter how bad they are...on the other, I also know I'm one bad decision away from the worst choice of my life. For me, I never want to live in the bottom of a bottle, and lose control of my life again. I am so glad you went to your meeting and it gave you the renewed conviction to stay sober! It's not easy, but you must feel so good about yourself!! I'm proud of you!! Marie

Congrats, Trish! It is rough doing it alone. I can't imagine not having a sponsor. I mean, I need to recommit to calling my sponsor more, but I'm on the phone with fellow friends all day long, if we're not hanging out. I have to stay in the middle or I go crazy! It takes a lot of strength to do with you did, so good job!!!! Amber