Husband is hurting our family...

Hi everyone... First off - I can't relate to a lot of things because my only addition was food. I have watched my husband long enough to understand about addictions more than I ever wanted to. My husband is addicted to cocaine. He has been on and all drugs all of his adult life. When we got together he was clean and sober. Everything was nice. Well, recently we went back home to Delaware and he met up with is family - who are ALL addicts and he fell off the wagon again and hasn't been able to pull himself back up. I guess it is really hurting me right now because I am pregnant again and it is the holiday season. Yes, he works - he works and also during the day takes care of the children. He only uses after I am home with the kids and I know this because we live in a high class neighborhood, he has to go about 25 minutes away to get antything and has no transportation while I am gone. He can cut it totally off for a week or so then he goes back to it. I think he is really hurting our family - finacially we should be better off than we are.. and mentally I AM a mess! I broke down last night and just told him I can't take it anymore!!! What should I do? I don't want to give up on him because I do love him very much! Just hard to watch him hurt himself time and time again. Thanks for listening, Emily

I am in the same boat as you. My husband is addicted to cocaine too. We went to rehab for 21 days back in October. He "used" again right before his 60th day clean. I am a mess and do know what to do. He has been going to his NA meetings everyday and even got a sponsor. I think he used last night and he swears he didn't. I starting attending a meeting called Families Anonymous. I think it is helping me. Good luck......email if you want to talk. Lisa

Find a support group please. FA, Alanon, Naranon, there are many and I am sure there is something in your area. You need to talk to others who have/ are experiencing what you are. You have that responsibility to you and your kids. Addiction is a progressive disease. It will get worse if he does not get recovery. You can help all of you if you learn how to not enable him and live in an atmosphere of recovery in your home. Hugs, Laurie

Get to a support group, as described above and talk about it. Learn to take care of yourself and not obsess over his behavior. Consider marital therapy, or therapy for yourself if he won't go. Hugs, Trish

Emily I am so sorry babygirl! You are such a sweetie, and you and the kids dont deserve it! I just celebrated 10 years clean from crack and heroin, know that I am here for you if you want to talk! Johnny (my husband) also said that if you want you can call and talk to him, since he is the husband of a recovering addict..I emailed you my phone number! Please know that you are in my prayers EVERYDAY!! Along with the kids, even the bean (which i wanted to tell u, I had a dream and in my dream it was a boy) Email me if you EVER need or want to talk!! Love ya Jen

Thanks Jen!! I am really glad that I have found the website again after so many years. It is so nice to have a support group who can listen and give real world advise. Drugs are a part of the real world... be it they never were a part of my life until my husband... but I do trust in God and I know he put my husband in my life for a reason. I just hope that my husband can find God's healing hands once again. I know it sounds like a bunch of bull hockey saying he can control it... because he can't. I think the only time he has been able to think past the drug is when God slows him down. Thank you for praying for us! We definately need it... I know he loves the kids and I and he 'wants' to do better.. but it is a very hard battle... esp after being on and off of it for about 20 years (he is 40). About the baby, I really hope it is another boy.. girls are a bit harder IMO. However, I will love it no matter what! Can't wait until 12/19 to see 'it' Thanks for always being there!! Love ya, Emily

God Bless you Emily, my husband is an alcohic and dealing with an addiction isn't easy, I hope your husband bounces back from this, and that every thing turns out well for you and your family, congrats on the new baby!