help....

My husband is a recovering addict. He was in an inpatient program for 21 days and he is now doing outpatient and meetings every night. Last week he "used" and I am very upset. He is mad at himself but he went to his meetings and finally got a sponsor. I am wreck .....I can not go back to that life. This week would have been 60 days for him. How should I react to this "slip". I am proud that he is going to his meetings but I am very worried.

Lisa, I can't speak for your husband, but I can only tell you about myself. NO BODY gets sober or stays sober for anyone but themselves. I consider myself a cronic relapeser. I would relapse after a few days, weeks and months. But, I'm working a good program now. I have been clean for about a year and a half. There is hope for your husband. As long as he keeps going to meetings and talks to his sponsor he will be on the right track. DarDar

I had a long period where I relapsed all the time. I have since put together five years. I once had over 8 years sober. For yourself, you cannot get anyone clean, and your husband should not be getting clean to please you. You need to attend Al-Anon or Nar-Anon for your sanity. There you will meet wives, mothers, fathers, and siblings of people who love addicts and alcoholics. They can help you get your sanity back, regardless of what your husband does or does not do in his recovery program. I would also recommend seeing if there are any family sessions you can attend in your husband's outpatient program. My son was in a program and they had family groups. Hugs, trish

I agree with everything said above. He has to work his own program and you have to find something for you. Addiction affects whole families. If he wants it he will keep going and truelly do what is suggested. You need support and direction dealing with your issues as the wife of an addict. Hugs- laurie