Need some words of encouragement please

I'm so angry with myself right now. I don't have addictions to alcohol or drugs. I am an emotional eater. But, what bothers me is, I tend to lean towards gambling as an addiction. I mean I'm not at the casino every night. But, last year about this time, I would stop by the casino on my way home from work for an hour or so. It was fun, and if I won...well even better. But, it was becoming a habit..and when I lost I would loose at least a couple hundred of dollars. Because the mentality would be, "maybe I'll win on this machine, or maybe if I play just a little while longer I'll hit a jackpot." The only reason I would stop playing for the night would be because the limit on my debit card would be maxed out. I'm thankful for that now. Well, I wound up putting us into some debt that I am now working my ass of to get out of. I've been doing really good. Haven't gone to the casion and gambled for over 6 months. Until last night. I am by myself right now. My husband is in the airforce and deployed. I thought, well maybe I could go for just a little bit, play just a little bit of money and leave. But, that's not what happened. I lost almost $300...that I didn't have to loose. Now, I'm really hating myself. I'm bawling my head off as I type this. I can't believe I did that! I've been doing soooo good and now I am so angry with myself. This isn't going to completely ruin us financally, it's just that there are other things the money needed to be spent on. And I don't want to fall back into that habit. I have a counselling session on Friday, and I know eventually I'll be Ok..but for right now, I'm just very angry with myself and having a lot of self hatred right now. Just need some words of encouragement, and to vent. Thanks, Dena

Dena, Sounds like you are aware and have taken steps to help you deal with this. I do not gamble often because I know I am an addict and it could surface. My gf lost everything! He gambled his life away literally. I am feeling uncomfortable myself because I used y credit card. It has gotten out of control in the past and I have to daily talk myself out of using it. I am working to apply my 12 steps and doing better. Have not used one for 3 years but once I did it is always tempting again. Hang in there and stay the course! Laurie

Hi Dena, I understand your problem. Mine is not gambling, but shopping. When my husband left me, I wracked up $60,000 in credit card debt in four years. Some of it was legitimate, some was impulse shopping. Most was impulse shopping. Now, on top of that, I went to grad school and borrowed for that. I also put one son through some college classes, on loans. Now, I also must pay off another son's college loans from before my divorce. They came due when he graduated from grad school two years ago. So, now, I have no credit cards, and I still have trouble making ends meet, because my creditors want more than I can afford to pay them. So, I went through debt consolidation. Impulse control is the key. Catching myself before I shop. Having a plan. Not spending more than I budget. Good luck as you discuss this with your therapist or counselor. Hopefully, you can get together a strategy to help you with it. Have you ever attended Gamblers Anonymous? They are a 12 step group that helps people with gambling addiction. I have never attended, but I am sure you would benefit from attending. Hugs, Trish

Thanks Ladies, I had a rough day, but I got through it. I had also posted on the main message board and got some great replies there too. I don't feel as if I am as bad off as others. I recongnized it as a problem pretty early on and have managed to do pretty good on my own and with help from God above. But, having said that, I also am aware that I have an addictive type of behaviour. I'd like to get into a 12 step program. Maybe not G.A. but something else. I looked into maybe O.A. but, they meet at times that I'm not available for. And I don't know if I'd benefit from A.A. since I don't have a problem with alcohol. Anyway, thanks so much! Hugs, Dena

I know that sometimes we can make some of the stupist decisions when we feel lonely, upset, bored, whatever! I also strongly believe that all of us here that have had surgery had an addiction to food, it was definetely mine. When I was mad, hurt, lonely, happy, anything I used food to either celebrate it or cry over it! A couple of years after my surgery and I had gotten down to my goal and didn't use food to mask everything I had three tragedies happen, my house caught on fire, my mom got ALS and passed away, and I got divorced. So instead of using food, I used alcohol, for almost 2 years. I haven't drank in three months now, it seems that we go from one addiction to another. I go to AA meetings, and they help, but the thing that helps the most is looking into yourself and finding the courage and the reason why we have to find something to bury those feelings whether it be food, drugs, alcohol, or gambling. I know I shop more than I used to also! Unfortunantely the surgery doesn't fix our brain! I wi**** could. My best suggestion, which is coming from my AA meetings, is take one day at a time, and when you wake up in the morning pray to whomever you want to, even if its the plant in your living room, to help you get through the day without doing whatever our addiction is, and at night, thank that same thing/person for getting you through the day, and just hope for strength. Also, don't beat yourself up for one slip up, we can only do the best we can!! Good luck, Jen