Cutting

Well- it had been some months... but I had a party with a few friends last night. My arm hurts. I'm tired now. I had to see the surgeon today for my check up.... I kept my jacket on so he didn't notice... he'd have a fit. I'm trying to hide this.... this was one of my worst episodes. I hate this... ~sighs~ I thought this surgery was supposed to make me feel better.... so why am I cutting again?

My therapist told me that changing the outside without changing the insides doesn't make us feel better. Are you in therapy? I would suggest you seek a licensed therapist if you are not. Work on the self-esteem issues that are motivating you to cut. Find alternative behaviors for it. Stick your arm in cold water, rub an ice cube on your arm, whatever it takes to not cut. I speak from two perspectives. 1. I was a cutter. I had really done a number on myself once and went to see a breast surgeon about a lump. She saw the scratches, because I cut my upper, inner arm, and it was the same side as the lump in my breast. I told her I had a new kitten, which was true, but the kitten didn't do it. 2. I have worked in hospitals with patients who have cut themselves. Learn to self-soothe so the feelings become more manageable. Take a walk, read, meditate, journal, pray, listen to soothing music, deep breath, swim, whatever makes you feel good. Hugs, Trish

Marveta, I hope you are seeking help for this problem. When I was working as a nurse I saw people with this issue and it is very scary. You could do some serious damage. Trish is right you have to work on the inside issues to be better. You started with wls now keep moving forward and heal you inside. I had to find this out too so I do undrstand. Surgery does not fix our thinking. Hugs, Laurie