Life Threatening Addiction, help

I posted this on the main message forum. I was made aware of this addictions forum and thought it was probably good to re-post this post here. *** This is VERY hard for me to post on this message board. Or any message board for that matter. I would hope that there is NO flaming as this is very difficult for me. I had an open RNY on May 31st of this year. Just barely 4 months ago. I have lost 73 pounds since surgery and 119 pounds from my highest weight. I have found that since losing so much weight my personality has become far more extroverted and I want to go out way more, and do way more things. Things that I never thought I'd ever be able to do. However this has all come with a price. I read a post once on another forum about trading one addiction for another. This has happened to me, and it is scaring the crap out of me. Now that I am feeling better I have been experimenting with "other" things. Now that I look better and feel better and dress better I have been way more "out there". I am not afraid to go places and be myself. However the person I am turning into is scaring me. I'll get to the point now. Since having surgery, the past couple of months I have really been experimenting with drugs. Weed, cocaine, and ecstasy. My husband and I realised that cocaine was horrible and only dabbled in it for 1 evening, however that one evening was enough to almost get worried about. I was so sick and it wasn't good. Weed gave me the giggles; however ecstasy seems to be the drug of choice. In the past 2 months I have been completely strung out 4 or 5 out of 8 weekends. One weekend I almost OD'd. You would have thought that that weekend would have been a wake up call, but it wasn't. I am worried that the ecstasy has totally screwed with my new pouch and bypassed bowels. Could this have long lasting effect on me? My husband and I sat down together on Sunday night. This past weekend him and I were both completely strung out, and still feeling sick from it all like we had a HUGE hang over until yesterday. We sat down and talked about how it is becoming an issue. It's not just once in a blue moon, it is regular. Now that my addiction to food is no where near what it was, why am I going on this drug route? I have NEVER been into drugs my whole life. Why now? Why am I screwing with my body like this? I had no will power before surgery, that is why I had the surgery in the first place and now I am swapping addictions with something just as life threatening as being morbidly obese........if not more so. Thank you for listening.

My first thought is that you need to get to a rehab, detox or hospital and get clean. From there, get help. There is help in therapy/psychology. There is also help in the 12 Step rooms of Narcotics Anonymous. Do not be discouraged. There is hope of being clean and sober and healthy again. Hugs, Trish

Carrie, My heart goes out to you because I also had a drug problem (although it was quite a few years ago). I was very heavy then lost 80 lbs and felt like I was on top of the world. This led to different, wild, outgoing friends who were into drugs. I took crystalmethaline for about a year just to get through the day and get a whole lot done....better job, etc. But then I found myself going around in a circle...I had to do more drugs to be able to work more to be able to do more drugs....I never got anywhere. Finally, I found out I was pregnant and stopped the drugs cold turkey. This was in 1989 and I haven't done anything since. I just had Lap RNY August 21st of this year and going back to drugs has been my biggest fear. So far so good. I really don't think this is going to be a problem for me. I think you have to be careful who you pick as friends. Also, remember why you had this surgery. It wasn't to become vane about yourself but to become a healthier person. I read your profile and you have been through alot. You are just starting to get on the road to recovery from your health problems so please don't screw it up with more complicated problems. If you feel it's time to get professional help then get it but you and only you know when it's time to ask for help. No amount of help will wor****il you are ready for it. If you ever want to Email me please feel free to do so. [email protected]. Cathy