How do you deal with guilt?

GUILT - that 5 letter word that haunts me. Even when something is NOT my fault, I tend to internalize everything. When things *are* my fault, it's 1000 times worse. In fact, I think that is one of my big triggers that cause me to slip. I just am not sure how to deal with the helplessness I feel when I've screwed up. I had a very dream filled night - and none of them were particularly good dreams... in fact, it was pretty much a manifestation of people in my life punishing me. I dreamt Mr Sweetie Pants slept with one of my best friends, then that my two best friends were conspiring against me (long story here but that is a valid fear - I'm going to have to let that go - we had an issue 3 years ago I've not fully let go), kids leaving home and never speaking to me again. The devil was wrecking havoc in my unconscious mind last night. Yanno - I prayed about all of this before I went to sleep. I know that God forgives me the stupid things I've done and I definitely asked for courage and strength not to keep repeating those stupid things. In the meantime however, how do I deal with the head squirrels? ESCAPE has been something I've longed for all my life... I've done it in a very destructive manner, continually, leading me to where I am today. I want to be normal. I want to be able to deal with bad feelings in a normal way and put them to bed. I realize that making amends is one of the 12 steps. I'm nowhere at that point yet, but I'm sure that will help some with the guilt. In the meantime, it's attached to me like a black fog. Somebody pass me some foglights, willya? So seriously - how do you deal with overwhelming guilt? hugs and love Michelle

I did a fourth step very early on in my recovery because of my guilt. I then gave my fifth step to a minister friend of mine. What an answer to prayer that wasy. I have done several fourth steps since then. The fourth and fifth steps are how you deal with guilt. The 8th and 9th steps are how you make amends to the people you learn you hurt in the 4th and 5th steps. When Bill Wilson and the early AA guys did the steps, they did them right away. So, while some old timers will tell you not to do a fourth step right away, that is how I dealt with a lot of my guilt. I do suggest you get a sponsor sometime soon. That person can help guide you in the stepwork. I am so proud of you. You are doing fantastic. Hugs, Trish

You mention 12 steps but you don't say whether you are attending any meetings. If you have a problem/addiction that has 12 step meetings, attend some of them. Just being with the group will probably help you. You may also want to consider therapy; it can be individual or group therapy. Mentioning your probem at a 12 step meeting may be your first step in overcoming your guilt. Many of us feel guilt over behaviors that we've developed over a lifetime. You can learn to change negative behaviors, but they are not likely to all change overnight. Try to do the changes needed in your life and pray for that change. But, then share your feelings with others to see if your expectations are unrealistic. We often find that we are more likely to forgive others than ourselves.

Tonight was my second AA meeting ever. I've been in therapy for 3 months. I feel guilt not so much about the behaviors in general, but about the stupid things I've done to people I love. Thanks for your response! hugs, Michelle