WOW! What an experience.
Well over the last 2 years I have had my share of calls from struggling addicts who were fighting the desire to drink or use other substanaces. Most made it thru and eventually some relapsed.Saturday morning was a whole different situation. I got a call that a member was high as a kite, suicidal and completely freaked out asking for help.There are a number of people in my support group with double digit clean time and I have listened intently to their stories about 12 step calls. Never go alone! Do not t alk to the disease. I called my sponsor who could help because she too has made 12 step calls to this woman in the past. It gave me some courage and direction.
I needed it because I found myself in a situation that is very strange to this middle aged, middle class professional. Exposed to drugs I only heard about not have any experience with. In fact it really did not matter. I went there to offer to take this person to detox. To walk with her if she was willing.
She was willing and I had a very surreal experience. I am releaved she went and hopeful she remains willing but I guess time will tell. Carry the message not the addict. I experiened a side of the disease of addiction that is very ugly and in its most raw and painful state short of death to witness. There but for the grace of God go I. It makes me see that one really bad decision over the years could have lead me down this path. This woman is a good person, she made some choices very young that have swallowed her up and she is lost in this cycle spirally down to the bitter ends. As much as it saddens me and scares me it gives me some hope too.Despite the wreckage she did call. She had a seed of recovery that let her make the call. I cannot get in the way of someones bottom.She must walk thru it or not but she does not have to be alone if she wants.
I guess I am rambling at this point. It was a powerful experience in recovery that I thought I would share.
Hugs,
laurie
Having dealt with other addicts as well as my own demons all my life, I know how uncomfortable and surreal it can be. I'm very glad that you were there when she needed somebody. I bet YOU are also. I'm very hopeful for her and will keep her in my prayers. I do think it's VERY important that yes, she did reach out. I also think it's no small coincidence that she got YOU on the other end.
I'm sure it really drives home the importance of your own (it drove home the importance of my own too when I read your post) recovery.
hugs,
m
Hi M,
Thanks for your post. I was talking to my sponsor tonight about it. The fact is I believe there is always hope and I pray for it. The reality is that the ravages of decades of abuse have taken a serious toll. I am not optomistic but still hopeful for this situation.
I walked thru it on autopilot I knew what I had to do and i WAS PREPARED TO LEAVE IF SHE WOULD NOT GO TO DETOX AND OFFER A RIDE TO A MEETING LATER THAT DAY. Hard stuff but the stone cold truth. I have been an RN for 28 yr. It is a hard thing for me to see that it is the right thing but everything I have learned in recovery tells me I cannot make someone go nor talk to a using addict who is unwilling. I am the kind of person who walks thru crisis and then thinks about it and feels it. So today it is what I am digesting even tho it has been over 48 hrs ago.
Other daily stuff is also under my skin so it is an emotional day. Not a bad day just emotional. I am harboring a resentment and I am not sure what to do about it. I may just play it out and the situation may resolve itself or bite me in the ass. I guess I am trying to decide which is worse!!!LOL Left over stuff from never setting appropriate boundries some time ago.Keeps rearing its ugly head. Honestly, I thought I had addressed it. Guess not. Life....one day at a time! How goes the job search?
I am considering returning to the working world part time. Not so sure it will be in nursing tho. Maybe in a dress shop. Midlife career change.
Hugs,
Laurie
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