AA skeptical?!

hey, it's me again... I KNOW i need to go to AA meetings, i went for a couple of months last year. I really loved it...people helping people, which helps themselves... but the one person that really helped me(a guy) ended up betraying me. I moved from NY to IL in january and found out that he told everyone that i was sleeping with him and that is just ridiculous! anyways, i went sober on my own...without meetings, but i REALLY want to get back into it because nobody realizes how bad my addiction is (except for people in the room) i looked for all women meetings but they are once a week...with school and work...i don't know what to do. The situation back in NY kind of made me skeptical about the whole thing. just rambling, i know i have to get over it...just really hurt. thanks for listening

Preditors are everywhere. One of the reason we recommend the women stick with the women and men with men. I have plenty of men in NA I am friends with but my support group is women. This is especially important for the newcomer. I am friends with men in the fellowship and will occassionally discuss an issue with one but I alway encourage anyone to touch base with their sponsor. I am sorry this happened to you but frankly if you plug in as a newcomer with the opposite sex more than same sex it can and sometimes does happen.Especially to young people in my observation. You do not have to avoid mixed mtgs just get woman phone numbers. Call them! Get to know them. Accept invitations to coffee. That is how you will find women you click with. My support group is women from 23-52 yr old. You have no idea how much we share in common and offer new insight to one another. Students, new moms, gay women, middle class worker.......professionals the list goes on. Just remember some are sicker than others! Do not let a bad experience rob you of recovery!You can set the boundaries.It is your right and responsibility to you. Take the leap of faith and find some mtgs. Check out several. keep that open mind and listen. Hugs, Laurie

thank you for your words... i have always idalized you, and i know what i have to do. I think it's just (an easy way out) a way for me to give up...but at least i'm aware, and NOT gonna give up

It is easy to apply our own road blocks. I am a 50 yr old mom, nurse, very successful in many ways but..... I find myself in a fellowship of drug addicts! Guess what I belong there! Kinda hard to wrap my brain around at first. Glad I did not talk myself out of it! Hugs, Laurie

Getting a sponsor and following her advice is highly recommended. Stay away from men and you should be able to avoid that in the future. You can go to coed meetings, but during the coffee/smoke breaks, talk only to women. Get women's phone numbers. Socialize with only women, or in mixed groups of many people. It is highly recommended not to 13th step in the rooms, that means date AA people. I struggle going to AA. I am a licensed psychotherapist with a graduate degree working in a psychiatric hospital and rehab. My disease tells me I already know all there is about addiction and recovery. NOT. I need the people in the rooms. Hugs, Trish

hi- I find that MOST people in AA where I go are all honest and truely helpful. You do always have to be careful though I bet. There is this one man at one of my meetings that I'm leary of, so my male friends that I trust keep an eye out for me. Stick with the women. Unfortunately, I'm more comfortable with the men. My first sponser was a man, till he made me get a female. Good luck. Grace 29 days sober ****ep relapsing, dammit!)

Took me awhile to realize that a sober horse thief is still a horse thief. I've gotten ripped off a lot by people in the program, but I do this for me, not them. Thousand of AAs all over the world and I'm not going to let a few sabaroge me. Still hurts, especially when we are new and nieve. Vicki