Weird day..

Yesterday was a great day at work.. Busy.. went fast. Yet when I got home I so wanted to go have a beer in a BIG way. I didnt but very well could have. UUUGG.. I know there are tough days and One Day at a Time is my focus. I have a job interview for a PT job today. I hope it goes well, but I am concerned that I have a family vacation coming up and they will not want to respect that.. I know I am reading too much into something that I have no idea where it will go in the first place. So I am praying for peace within my heart on this.. I "outed" myself to my OH-MN board friends about whats going on with me. I felt really good at first cuz I know there are a few folks struggling with the same issues. I have never felt so loved before in my life, however, now I wi**** would go away. Not sure why I would have those feelings.. I am not much of one to show the real me to people and I feel guilty now.. I HAVE NO IDEA why one would have those feelings, but I am sure I will gain strength from their support. Last week I went to see a new therapist. We had an awesome talk. I told myself that I was going to be an open book and I did. She was very impressed with the steps that I have taken to better myself. We are going to meet again in a month and from there decided if I need to continue therapy.. I guess my post went in a few different directions and I thank you for listening to my ramblings.. Have a great day!

What you are saying feels very familiar.I know exactly what you are saying. The strange feeling will pass. No brick is going to fall out of the sky and hit you. I felt like I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop my whole first year. Things happened and I walked thru it but never more than I could handle. You are doing a fantstic job working on yourself! I am on my 7th step. Asking my HP to remove my character defects. WOW.It is good but more emotional than I expected somehow. Laurie

Makes sense to me. Getting positive support feels very awkward in the beginning. It runs contrary to the negative self-talk we are so used to in the beginning of recovery. Start giving yourself positive self-talk, and allowing people to support you when they do. It will be uncomfortable in the beginning, but let yourself enjoy it as much as possible. Good that you are open with your therapist. That will help you so much. Hugs, Trish